Tootfinder

Sources: Amazon plans to cut as much as 15% of its HR staff, and additional layoffs will likely affect other areas of its core consumer business (Jason Del Rey/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/10/14/amazon-layoffs-pxt-hr-andy-jassy/

Amazon is planning a new wave of layoffs, sources say
Amazon's 10,000-plus employee HR division, which includes recruiters, is expected to be among the hardest hit in the job cuts.

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is
weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and
weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists,
but he sings about his gingivectomist, he dreams about a single cosmologist,
he thinks about his dog. The dog is named Herbert.
-- Racter, "The Policeman's Beard is Half-Constructed"

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.
Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: "Pray, what is youn?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin in graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a yea…

https://fortune.com/2025/12/10/coupang-ceo-resigns-south-korea-data-breach/
Wow
Coupang CEO resigns over historic South Korean data breach

Coupang CEO resigns over historic South Korean data breach
Nearly two-thirds of people in the country were affected by the breach, which granted unauthorized access to their shipping addresses and phone numbers.

"What are we going to do tonight, Bill?"
"Same thing we do every night Steve, try to take over the world!"

Sonnet 037 - XXXVII
As a decrepit father takes delight
To see his active child do deeds of youth,
So I, made lame by Fortune's dearest spite,
Take all my comfort of thy worth and truth;
For whether beauty, birth, or wealth, or wit,
Or any of these all, or all, or more,
Entitled in thy parts, do crowned sit,
I make my love engrafted to this store:
So then I am not lame, poor, nor despis'd,
Whilst that this shadow doth such su…

The life of a repo man is always intense.

Exclusive: U.S. businesses are getting throttled by the drop in tourism from Canada | Fortune
https://fortune.com/2025/12/10/us-businesses-canada-border-throttled-drop-canadian-tourism/
The US is isolating itself...

x
xxx
xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx HAPPY
//////\\\\\\ HALLOWEEN
/// O O \\ DUDE
/// U \\\
// \___/ \\ /\ .
a a \ \ __ /|
aaaaa aaaaa o o
aaaaaaaa…

O nono? é o nono.
-- palíndromo

Tala Health, which plans to roll out AI agents to help clinicians improve patient care next year, raised a $100M seed led by Sofreh Capital (Allie Garfinkle/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/11/04/tala-health-raises-100-million-se…

Tala Health raises $100 million seed round, as Ritankar Das seeks to build a holding company for the AI era
Titan Holdings has launched a new operating company, Tala Health, Fortune has exclusively learned.

In 1920, Charles Garland,
the wealthy heir to a banking fortune, made newspaper headlines for doing the unthinkable:
he declined to accept an inheritance of more than a million dollars from his late father’s estate. 
Garland was disillusioned by the era’s gross #inequality
— the top 10 percent of American income earners took in half the country’s annual national income.
Garl…

‘The Radical Fund’: How a spurned inheritance fueled progressive change
In his new book, Yale’s John Fabian Witt details how a little-known foundation funded by a wealthy banking heir sought to bring about a more just society in the first half of the 20th century.

What one fool can do, another can.
-- Ancient Simian Proverb

Sony Pictures Television and CBS settle their legal battle over the distribution of Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune; Sony will gradually take over distribution (Rick Porter/The Hollywood Reporter)
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business

CBS and Sony Settle Legal Fight Over ‘Jeopardy!,’ ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Distribution
The agreement ends a year-long battle involving the two long-running syndicated game shows.

Dropping the penny is one thing, but like everything this moronic administration does is unplanned chaos.
https://fortune.com/2025/10/30/america-is-running-out-of-pennies-costing-millions/

America’s officially running out of pennies — and it’s costing retailers millions
“Let’s rip the waste out of our great nation’s budget, even if it’s a penny at a time,” President Donald Trump wrote on Truth Social.

🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on KEXP's #DriveTime
Yeah Yeah Yeahs:
🎵 Shame and Fortune
#YeahYeahYeahs
https://open.spotify.com/track/1eQZHXR9wmz17x38aksm4z

Logic is the chastity belt of the mind!

Circle launches USDCx, a privacy-focused version of its USDC stablecoin on the Aleo blockchain, to give users "banking-level privacy" with a "compliance record" (Ben Weiss/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/12/09/circle-privacy-stablecoin-aleo-uds…

Exclusive: Circle stablecoin for ‘banking-level privacy’ to launch on Aleo blockchain
Blockchains make data public, but Aleo founder Howard Wu hopes to lure big banks and institutions to crypto through semi-private stablecoins.

If voting could change the system, it would be illegal. If not voting
could change the system, it would be illegal.

<Knghtbrd> it's too bad most old unices turned out y2k compliant
<Knghtbrd> because it means people will STILL BE RUNNING THEM in 30 years
=p
<Knghtbrd> it would have been so much nicer if y2k effectively killed off
hpux, aix, sunos, etc ;>
<Espy> Knghtbrd: since when are PH-UX, aches, and solartus "old"?

The people are asleep; they remain indifferent. They forge their own chains and do the bidding of their masters to crucify their Christs.
---- - Emma Goldman - ----

A profile of OpenAI President Greg Brockman and his role in the company's $1.4T infrastructure buildout that's required to reach AGI (Sharon Goldman/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/11/05/openai-greg-brockman-ai-infrastructure-data-c…

Meet OpenAI’s master builder: Greg Brockman is steering a $1.4 trillion infrastructure surge with stakes that go far beyond AI
As OpenAI’s president, Brockman is focused on “completing the mission” of moving beyond AI to artificial general intelligence (AGI).

Say it with flowers,
Or say it with mink,
But whatever you do,
Don't say it with ink!
-- Jimmie Durante

BOFH excuse #249:
Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes/whatever. Don't worry, the next supply will be coming next week.

Giga, which develops voice-based AI agents for customer support, raised a $61M Series A led by Redpoint with participation from Y Combinator and Nexus (Beatrice Nolan/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/11/05/voice-ai-giga-raise-61-million-customer-serv…

Exclusive: Voice AI startup Giga raises $61 million to take on customer service automation
Voice AI has the potential to streamline a lot of businesses' customer service tasks, such as answering routine customer questions or scheduling appointments, without a human agent needing to step in.

BOFH excuse #385:
Dyslexics retyping hosts file on servers

(~'~~'~~'~~)
| | What's wrong, Dogbert?
| | /
| ~|~ _ __
|-------()) || |
( _) .'~\ /. I'm a horrible ascii
| | ()()__\/ ". / drawing!
| | /* "
''.. | | // |
|'..'---_/\ | …

Fly me away to the bright side of the moon ...

Crypto infrastructure provider Fireblocks agrees to acquire accounting platform TRES Finance, sources say for $130M in cash and equity; TRES raised $11M in 2023 (Ben Weiss/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2026/01/07/fireblocks-tres-finance-acquisition-130-million/…

Exclusive: Fireblocks acquires crypto accounting platform TRES Finance for $130 million
This is the crypto infrastructure firm’s second acquisition over the past year.

Your lucky color has faded.

Motivar é entender os motivos pelos quais as coisas acontecem.

QOTD:
"If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he'll know everything."

I
I
___ I ___
/^^^^___^^^^\ I /^^^^___^^^^\
/^^^/V/V/V/V/V/V\^\I/^/V\V\V\V\V\V\^^^\
/^^/V/\/V/V/V/V/V/V/V\Y/V\V\V\V\V\V\V\/\V\^^\
/^ /V/V/V\V/V/V/V/V/Vv//I\\vV\V\V\V\V\V/V\V\V\ ^\
/^ /V/V/V/V/\/V/V/vVVVv//^O^\\vVVVv\V\V\/\V\V\V\V\ ^\
/ /V/V/V/vvVVV\^^^ // I \\ ^^^/VVVvv\V\V\V\ \
//vvvVV^^ \ // _I_ \\ / ^^VVvvv\\…

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably
not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
-- H. L. Mencken

<Overfiend> this is the New Overfiend, preacher of Love and Tolerance

Torque is cheap.

Above all, what socialist, without flushing with shame, maintains he is not a revolutionary? We say: none!
---- - Johann Most - ----

_____________________
| | ____
__ | Keep On Truckin' | | |\
__ _____| |\__ | | | |_\
/ u_ |_ _ ___ _ _) |_____________________|__|______)
(o---o) (_) (_) /(_)(_) (_) (_)
=================================================================

There are three schools of magic. One: State a tautology, then ring the
changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy. Two: Record many facts.
Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's
science. Three: Be aware that you live in a malevolent Universe controlled
by Murphy's Law, sometimes offset by Brewster's Factor; that's engineering.

You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.

Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts
down the system for days.

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.
-- Marlo Thomas

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep
him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are
worth committing.
-- Samuel Butler

Too clever is dumb.
-- Ogden Nash

O sujeito casou-se com uma mulher que era teimosa que nem uma
mula. Dois anos depois, a beira de um ataque de nervos, conseguiu
convencê-la a consultar um psicólogo. Na volta da primeira
consulta, ansioso, ele pergunta:
-- E então, meu amor? Como foi a consulta? Tudo bem?
-- Tudo bem, uma ova! Precisei gastar todo o meu horšrio para
convencer o psicólogo que o divã ficava muito melhor no meio da
sala!

_____^_(smart bump)
| | \
\ / ^ |
/ \_/ 0 \
/ \
/ ____ 0
/ / \___ _/

The Towering Inferno <--> Not Worth Fire Engine
-- anagrama, GAMES Magazine

!
O O'
/\/ /\ ____
(,___|( [____
\ \ ||
/_ /_ ||
-joan

BOFH excuse #60:
system has been recalled

"Nine years of ballet, asshole."
-- Shelly Long, to the bad guy after making a jump over a gorge that he
couldn't quite, in "Outrageous Fortune"

Hawkeye's Conclusion:
It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole
circus.

Cheio como barril de chopp em festa de crente.

The great merit of society is to make one appreciate solitude.
-- Charles Chincholles, "Reflections on the Art of Life"

"Poor man... he was like an employee to me."
-- The police commissioner on "Sledge Hammer" laments the death of his bodyguard

C : an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts -- for support
rather than illumination.

Old programmers never die, they just become managers.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the
devil when he is the only explanation of it.
-- Ronald Knox, "Let Dons Delight"

=== ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ========================
JCL support as alternative to system menu.
In our continuing effort to support languages other than LISP on the CADDR,
we have developed an OS/360-compatible JCL. This can be used as an
alternative to the standard system menu. Type System J to get to a JCL
interactive read-execute-diagnose loop window. [Note that for 360
compatibility, all input lines are truncated to 80 characters.] This
window als…

How do I get HOME?

Alguns homens são úteis, mas nenhum é indispensšvel. Só o povo é
imortal.
-- Maximilien Robespierre

�L-MEM-BAD, bad memory
VMS-F-PDGERS, pudding between the ears

"In this replacement Earth we're building they've given me Africa
to do and of course I'm doing it with all fjords again because I happen to
like them, and I'm old-fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely
baroque feel to a continent. And they tell me it's not equatorial enough.
Equatorial!" He gave a hollow laugh. "What does it matter? Science has
achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happ…

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence
is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Coming to Stores Near You:
101 Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes Featuring:
(You Aren't Anything but a) Hound Dog
It Doesn't Mean a Thing If It Hasn't Got That Swing
I'm Not Misbehaving
And A Whole Lot More...

Battle, n.:
A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that
will not yield to the tongue.
-- Ambrose Bierce

O olho do avestruz é maior do que seu cérebro.

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

There ain't nothin' in this world that's worth being a snot over.
-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug19.041614.6963@netlabs.com>

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRochefoucauld

My father works at a government research facility, and some years ago,
when I was a little boy I asked him how many people worked out there.
He replied (of course): ``Oh, about half.''

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own
weight in other people's patience.
-- John Updike

Being owned by someone used to be called slavery -- now it's called commitment.

Rangoon, Burma <--> O man, organ rub
-- anagrama

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-- Noelie Alito

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs
around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace
explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The
"professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits a
large quantity of tools and two assistants who spend the better part of the
week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after
which the "profess…

$you = new YOU;
honk() if $you->love(perl)
-- Seen on Slashdot

.-'"""`-.
.' .-.-. `.
/ |--| | |--| \
| | `-^-' | |
\_/ (_) \_/
|| ||
\_) (_/
`. .'
| | |
| | | hjw
(___|___)

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin
with, that it's compounding a felony.
-- Robert Benchley

New Orleans <--> Loner wanes
-- anagrama

Accept
Harmony is only in following the Way.
The Way is without form or quality,
But expresses all forms and qualities;
The Way is hidden and implicate,
But expresses all of nature;
The Way is unchanging,
But expresses all motion.
Beneath sensation and memory
The Way is the source of all the world.
How can I understand the source of the world?
By accepting.
-- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"

BOFH excuse #128:
Power Company having EMP problems with their reactor

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero
... must drink brandy.
-- Samuel Johnson

QOTD:
"If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he'll know everything."

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

> Macintosh.
> Think different.
Think Again.

Quem bebe vive menos. Menos triste, menos preocupado...

Magically turning people's old scalar contexts into list contexts is a
recipe for several kinds of disaster.
-- Larry Wall in <199709291631.JAA08648@wall.org>

Don't hit me!! I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!

The mirror sees the man as beautiful, the mirror loves the man; another
mirror sees the man as frightful and hates him; and it is always the same
being who produces the impressions.
-- Marquis D. A. F. de Sade

Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out alive.

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian

Senso de humor é o sentimento que faz você rir daquilo que o deixaria
louco de raiva se acontecesse com você.
-- Aparício Torelly, o Barão de Itararé

Two wrights don't make a rong, they make an airplane. Or bicycles.

Todo o progresso estš baseado no desejo inato e universal de todo
organismo vivo de viver acima de suas posses.
-- Samuel Butler

Riso: o mais inocente de todos os diuréticos.
-- Jonathan Swift

World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!

Tu bi or not tu bi
CAN'T -- Que não estš frio: O café estš CAN'T
MORNING -- Nem CAN'T nem frio: Meu café estš MORNING

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man
who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that
there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"