Tootfinder

I consider the day misspent that I am not either charged with a crime,
or arrested for one.
-- "Ratsy" Tourbillon

https://fortune.com/2025/12/10/coupang-ceo-resigns-south-korea-data-breach/
Wow
Coupang CEO resigns over historic South Korean data breach

Coupang CEO resigns over historic South Korean data breach
Nearly two-thirds of people in the country were affected by the breach, which granted unauthorized access to their shipping addresses and phone numbers.

Circle launches USDCx, a privacy-focused version of its USDC stablecoin on the Aleo blockchain, to give users "banking-level privacy" with a "compliance record" (Ben Weiss/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/12/09/circle-privacy-stablecoin-aleo-uds…

Exclusive: Circle stablecoin for ‘banking-level privacy’ to launch on Aleo blockchain
Blockchains make data public, but Aleo founder Howard Wu hopes to lure big banks and institutions to crypto through semi-private stablecoins.

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🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on KEXP's #DriveTime
Yeah Yeah Yeahs:
🎵 Shame and Fortune
#YeahYeahYeahs
https://open.spotify.com/track/1eQZHXR9wmz17x38aksm4z

BOFH excuse #385:
Dyslexics retyping hosts file on servers

I’m generally a fan of Mission Local, so it’s disappointing when even they echo copaganda like “The SFPD staffing crisis is real and costs the city a fortune in overtime.”
A staff shortage is SFPD’s opinion, and the linked article itself attributes the overtime cost to “potential abuse.”

The District 4 supervisor race will be nasty, brutish — and short
The Sunset has a new supervisor — and a bruising, reductive and rapid election on the horizon

(~'~~'~~'~~)
| | What's wrong, Dogbert?
| | /
| ~|~ _ __
|-------()) || |
( _) .'~\ /. I'm a horrible ascii
| | ()()__\/ ". / drawing!
| | /* "
''.. | | // |
|'..'---_/\ | …

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Crypto infrastructure provider Fireblocks agrees to acquire accounting platform TRES Finance, sources say for $130M in cash and equity; TRES raised $11M in 2023 (Ben Weiss/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2026/01/07/fireblocks-tres-finance-acquisition-130-million/…

Exclusive: Fireblocks acquires crypto accounting platform TRES Finance for $130 million
This is the crypto infrastructure firm’s second acquisition over the past year.

Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.
-- Marlo Thomas

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep
him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are
worth committing.
-- Samuel Butler

Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts
down the system for days.

"Nine years of ballet, asshole."
-- Shelly Long, to the bad guy after making a jump over a gorge that he
couldn't quite, in "Outrageous Fortune"

The great merit of society is to make one appreciate solitude.
-- Charles Chincholles, "Reflections on the Art of Life"

🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on BBCRadio3's #SoundOfCinema
Carter Burwell:
🎵 Good Fortune "Visions of the Hope Your Life Promises"
#CarterBurwell
https://open.spotify.com/track/1Gp1Q53eMkKjaaXUEjE73n

"Poor man... he was like an employee to me."
-- The police commissioner on "Sledge Hammer" laments the death of his bodyguard

C : an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts -- for support
rather than illumination.

�L-MEM-BAD, bad memory
VMS-F-PDGERS, pudding between the ears

"In this replacement Earth we're building they've given me Africa
to do and of course I'm doing it with all fjords again because I happen to
like them, and I'm old-fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely
baroque feel to a continent. And they tell me it's not equatorial enough.
Equatorial!" He gave a hollow laugh. "What does it matter? Science has
achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happ…

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence
is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Old programmers never die, they just become managers.

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover.
But she can never catch him at it.

=== ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ========================
JCL support as alternative to system menu.
In our continuing effort to support languages other than LISP on the CADDR,
we have developed an OS/360-compatible JCL. This can be used as an
alternative to the standard system menu. Type System J to get to a JCL
interactive read-execute-diagnose loop window. [Note that for 360
compatibility, all input lines are truncated to 80 characters.] This
window als…

Coming to Stores Near You:
101 Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes Featuring:
(You Aren't Anything but a) Hound Dog
It Doesn't Mean a Thing If It Hasn't Got That Swing
I'm Not Misbehaving
And A Whole Lot More...

Battle, n.:
A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that
will not yield to the tongue.
-- Ambrose Bierce

O olho do avestruz é maior do que seu cérebro.

Gravis Robotics, which adds cameras, sensors, and AI to heavyweight construction machines so they can operate autonomously, raised $23M led by IQ and Zacua (Beatrice Nolan/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/11/28/gravis-robotic…

Exclusive: Gravis Robotics raises $23M to tackle construction’s labor shortage with AI-powered machines
The Swiss startup is aiming to automate construction equipment as the industry faces a severe shortage of skilled operators and surging demand.

Hawkeye's Conclusion:
It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole
circus.

Cheio como barril de chopp em festa de crente.

Tidalwave, whose AI agents automate mortgage docs checks and give real-time multilingual feedback to borrowers, raised a $22M Series A led by Permanent Capital (Fortune)
https://fortune.com/2025/11/21/tidalwave-raises-22-million-se…

Tidalwave raises $22 million Series A to improve the mortgage process with AI
Tidalwave, which builds agentic AI for mortgage origination, has now raised its $22 million Series A, Fortune has exclusively learned.

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRochefoucauld

My father works at a government research facility, and some years ago,
when I was a little boy I asked him how many people worked out there.
He replied (of course): ``Oh, about half.''

A lie in time saves nine.

Being owned by someone used to be called slavery -- now it's called commitment.

Rangoon, Burma <--> O man, organ rub
-- anagrama

How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are 3.155 x
10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand, who could
forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.
-- Tom Duff, Bell Labs

Alguns homens são úteis, mas nenhum é indispensšvel. Só o povo é
imortal.
-- Maximilien Robespierre

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs
around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace
explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The
"professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits a
large quantity of tools and two assistants who spend the better part of the
week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after
which the "profess…

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.
-- Louise Beal

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own
weight in other people's patience.
-- John Updike

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\_/ (_) \_/
|| ||
\_) (_/
`. .'
| | |
| | | hjw
(___|___)

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin
with, that it's compounding a felony.
-- Robert Benchley

New Orleans <--> Loner wanes
-- anagrama

Accept
Harmony is only in following the Way.
The Way is without form or quality,
But expresses all forms and qualities;
The Way is hidden and implicate,
But expresses all of nature;
The Way is unchanging,
But expresses all motion.
Beneath sensation and memory
The Way is the source of all the world.
How can I understand the source of the world?
By accepting.
-- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"

BOFH excuse #128:
Power Company having EMP problems with their reactor

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

There ain't nothin' in this world that's worth being a snot over.
-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug19.041614.6963@netlabs.com>

Costumamos chamš-la de economia política, porque não tem
nada a ver nem com economia, nem com política.
-- Stephen Leacock

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-- Noelie Alito

> Macintosh.
> Think different.
Think Again.

Quem bebe vive menos. Menos triste, menos preocupado...

Magically turning people's old scalar contexts into list contexts is a
recipe for several kinds of disaster.
-- Larry Wall in <199709291631.JAA08648@wall.org>

Don't hit me!! I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!

Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:
Superiority is recessive.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Riso: o mais inocente de todos os diuréticos.
-- Jonathan Swift

World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!

Tu bi or not tu bi
CAN'T -- Que não estš frio: O café estš CAN'T
MORNING -- Nem CAN'T nem frio: Meu café estš MORNING

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero
... must drink brandy.
-- Samuel Johnson

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian

``Obvious'' is the most dangerous word in mathematics.
-- Eric Temple Bell

Two wrights don't make a rong, they make an airplane. Or bicycles.

Todo o progresso estš baseado no desejo inato e universal de todo
organismo vivo de viver acima de suas posses.
-- Samuel Butler

"Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
speeds faster than 85 MPH (140kph)."
-- 1987 Buick Grand National owners manual.

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines
nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they
use or do not use.
-- Lazarus Long

if (rsfp = mypopen("/bin/mail root","w")) { /* heh, heh */
-- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code

Devo, não pago. Nego enquanto puder.

Debian Hint #33: The package 'devscripts' contains some useful scripts for
users who want to help to improve Debian, e.g. wnpp-alert, rc-alert and bts.

BOFH excuse #384:
it's an ID-10-T error

Mulher: como você pode confiar em um animal que sangra cinco dias e não
morre?

Viking, n.:
1. Daring Scandinavian seafarers, explorers, adventurers,
entrepreneurs world-famous for their aggressive, nautical import
business, highly leveraged takeovers and blue eyes.
2. Bloodthirsty sea pirates who ravaged northern Europe beginning
in the 9th century.
Hagar's note: The first definition is much preferred; the second is used
only by malcontents, the envious, and disgruntled owners of waterfront
property.

BOFH excuse #413:
Cow-tippers tipped a cow onto the server.

Male, n.:
A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the
human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The genus
has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

"He did decide, though, that with more time and a great deal of mental
effort, he could probably turn the activity into an acceptable perversion."
-- Mick Farren, "When Gravity Fails"

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
-- Thomas Alva Edison

Micro Credo:
Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift.

A única maneira de se descobrir os limites do possível é ultrapassando um
pouco a barreira para o impossível.
-- Arthur Clarke, escritor inglês

Why are programmers non-productive?
Because their time is wasted in meetings.
Why are programmers rebellious?
Because the management interferes too much.
Why are the programmers resigning one by one?
Because they are burnt out.
Having worked for poor management, they no longer value their jobs.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

life, n.:
Learning about people the hard way -- by being one.

Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an
elephant.

Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.

I like young girls. Their stories are shorter.
-- Tom McGuane

Cigarro: Objeto cilíndrico de papel, recheado com palha. Contém uma faísca
numa ponta e um idiota na outra.

Produtos desenvolvidos para todo tipo de idiota
* Numa touca de banho de hotel: ``ajusta-se a uma cabeça.''

Hale Mail Rule, The:
When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least
one of the following:
(a) A pen or pencil or typewriter.
(b) Stationery.
(c) Postage stamp.
(d) The letter you are answering.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"

___
|_|_|
|_|_| _____
|_|_| ____ |*_*_*|
_______ _\__\___/ __ \____|_|_ _______
/ ____ |=| \ <_ > / |=| ____ \
~| |\|=|======\\______//======|=|/| |~
|_ | \ | | / | |
\==-| \ | 2D | / |----|~~/
| | | | | | |____/~/
| | \____\____/____/ / / /
| | {----------}…

Debian Hint #22: Wondering which Debian mirror is best for you? Check out
the apt-spy and netselect-apt packages, which can give you information
about how various mirror sites perform.

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Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was
good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's
unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd
happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After
a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,
and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do
a comp…

94% of the women in America are beautiful and the rest hang out around here.

The existence of god implies a violation of causality.

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.
-- Buckaroo Bonzai

Nos relatórios que possíveis investidores no Brasil mandam fazer sobre
os riscos e as vantagens de botar dinheiro aqui deve constar -- junto
com dados econômicos, demogršficos etc. -- algo sobre as nossas
condições climšticas. Ultimamente, todos os relatórios devem estar
dizendo que o nosso clima é de oba-oba.
-- Luis Fernando Verissimo, ``Oba-oba'', 1997

Drogas fazem perder a memória e outras coisas que não lembro.

Life is wasted on the living.
-- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Bounders get bound when they are caught bounding.
-- Ralph Lewin