Tootfinder

Krypto-Scams: Coinbase warnt EU-Kunden vor iPhone-Sideloading
Die Kryptobörse weist europäische Kunden an, die App nur aus Apples App Store zu beziehen. Auch dort wurden zuletzt aber Fake-Wallets gesichtet.

Lol, is this #Coinbase bringing financial freedom to the masses? So ridic...
#doge #crypto

Bankrupt crypto lender BlockFi announces plans to shut down its web platform by May and partners with Coinbase to allow clients to access and withdraw funds (Amaka Nwaokocha/Cointelegraph)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/blockfi-coinbase-fund-distribution…

BlockFi partners with Coinbase for fund distribution amid shutdown
Struggling BlockFi will wind down operations by May 2024 and has partnered with Coinbase for client fund withdrawals. The company, facing bankruptcy since FTX’s collapse, settled with FTX and Alameda Research for $875 million.

Block starts shipping Bitkey, its $150 bitcoin wallet debuted in 2022, with a hardware device, mobile app, recovery tools, and Cash App and Coinbase integration (Emma Roth/The Verge)
https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/13/24099583/block-crypto…

Block’s new crypto wallet can only be purchased with real cash
Block has started shipping its Bitkey hardware wallet. The Bitcoin wallet costs $150 and comes with a fingerprint scanner and NFC chip.

Coinbase stock crosses the exchange's 2021 direct listing price of $250 after growing over 300% in the last 12 months, as bitcoin hovers around record highs (Carmen Reinicke/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20

Coinbase (COIN) Tops Direct Listing Price as Bitcoin Surges to Record
Coinbase Global Inc. has finally climbed back above its direct listing price Friday morning for the first time in more than two years.

My ratings of #Bitcoin ticker widgets
1. BRD wallet, discontinued by Coinbase, has a nice past 24 hr chart
2. #Wallet by #Coinbase, has an OK past 24 hr chart, the BRD one lets you remove superfluo…

As bitcoin rallies past $67K and nears its all-time high, Coinbase's stock, which hit $46.43 last year, soars to $229.15, nearly doubling in the past month (Niamh Rowe/Fortune)
https://fortune.com/crypto/2024/03/04/coinbase-shares-double-crypto…

Coinbase shrugs off site crash as shares of the top U.S. crypto exchange surge
Shares in Coinbase were up 14% on Monday, the biggest daily jump since January 2022, thanks to crypto's latest bull run.

"On November 10, 2021, bitcoin peaked at $68,990. The price tipped over that for two minutes, from 15:04 to 15:05 UTC yesterday, March 5, 2024.
The price promptly dropped $2,000 straight away, and then another $8,000 by 20:00 UTC, as the bagholders tried desperately to cash out — while they could, as Coinbase had yet another inexplicable outage, coincidentally with all the other exchanges."
Come one kids, we know this by know. Bitcoin price is pumped with stable coins …

Bitcoin hits a new all-time high! World reacts: “Wow, that thing’s still around?”
And Tether cracks 100 billion USDT. Probably just a coincidence.

"We're implementing 5 new measures to increase talent density at Coinbase"
Oh boy, this is going to be some spicy steaming goose turds. Let's unpack this a bit, but please wear a gas mask
https://www.coinbase.com/th/blog/talent-density-at-coinbase

Be me.
Realize "hmm, I think I have some ETH in a wallet that's probably worth something"
Log into Metamask over Mac Screen Sharing. Yep, I still remember my passphrase.
Copy wallet via recovery phrase to current machine.
Send all ETH to Coinbase using the "low cost, slow txn" gas setting.
Start Coinbase One trial for free trading.
Sell all ETH to USD.
Relink bank acct via Plaid.
Withdraw all the $$$.
Cancel Coinba…

Coinbase adds support for the Bitcoin Lightning Network via payments startup Lightspark, letting customers transfer bitcoin faster and at a lower cost (Derek Andersen/Cointelegraph)
https://cointelegraph.com/news/coinbase-integrates-lightn…

Coinbase integrates Lightning Network for Bitcoin transactions
Cryptocurrency exchange Coinbase has integrated the Bitcoin Lightning Network to provide faster transfers.

Coinbase reports Q1 net revenue up 116% YoY to $1.59B, vs. $1.32B est., net income of $1.18B, consumer transaction revenue of $935M, up 99% QoQ (Olga Kharif/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-05-02/coinb…

Coinbase’s (COIN) First-Quarter Profit, Revenue Top Forecasts
Coinbase Global Inc. posted higher-than-forecast first-quarter revenue and profit as a resurgence in cryptocurrency prices reawakened demand from individual investors.

Coinbase says it was granted a restricted dealer license in Canada, meeting the country's strict crypto demands as it pushes to expand abroad amid SEC crackdown (Ryan Browne/CNBC)
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/04/04/coinbase-secures-restri…

A US judge rules an SEC lawsuit against Coinbase can proceed, but dismisses one claim over Coinbase Wallet, a partial win for Coinbase in a lengthy court battle (Reuters)
https://www.reuters.com/technology/coinbase-must-face-us-se…

I am beating myself for not saving an article that I read a few months back where the authors predicted the collapse of #Coinbase and in a very specific terms, and painted it as an event that's soon happening.
I love these type of things not to dunk on the authors, but more to appreciate how complicated the world is and how easily someone offers such a forecast and how silly it is.

OpenSecrets: crypto sector-backed super PACs have raised $102M so far, the third-most of 2024 election PACs, including $54M from companies like Coinbase (Rick Claypool/Public Citizen)
https://www.citizen.org/article/cryptobros-united-fairshak…

Cryptobros United: Crypto Super PACs Amass Over $100 Million for 2024 Elections - Public Citizen

Coinbase says all services on its website have been restored after an issue on February 28 caused some users to see a zero balance in their accounts (Reuters)
https://www.reuters.com/technology/coinbase-says-its-in…

"1. Enhanced structured assessments with cognitive testing"
This is basically "racism with a side of logic puzzles"
"Over the past 12 months, we have tested structured assessments for cultural alignment and technical skills, and validated these were predictive of performance at Coinbase"
Measuring performance is itself a can of worms and racism magnet. In order words: garbage in, garbage out. They're validating that they get what they measure, but if both are biased in the same way, well, probably they aren't learning what they think they are.
"We believe having a minimum bar on these assessments will drive consistency in evaluation, reduce bias, and foster a meritocracy."
Consistency? Probably. Consistency of goose turds.
Reduce bias? Certainly the opposite. They're literally creating bias via cultural alignment. That's the whole fucking point of cultural alignment: it's intentional bias.
Oh, did they mean reducing discrimination against protected classes? LOL. also no. Probably they never learned that IQ tests are racist, and what they're doing is probably worse.
"Foster a meritocracy" what is this, a parody of 2005 libertarian tech start-ups? … … oh right, griftocurrency.
Apparently they were sick the day that their grade school teacher presented why meritocracy is a myth
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myth_of_meritocracy

Coinbase says all services on its website have been restored after an issue on February 28 caused some users to see a zero balance in their accounts (Reuters)
https://www.reuters.com/technology/coinbase-says-its-in…

Sources: Nigeria ordered telecoms to restrict access to the websites of some of the world's largest crypto exchanges, including Binance, Coinbase, and Kraken (Financial Times)
https://t.co/UCL5khCyoU