Right, gather round everyone - I've sussed out Trump's big scam. Its simple really: he owns stock in all the big booze corps. He just puts out lunacy day after day, then as we all take up morning drinking, rakes in the profits! I mean, think about it! It's the only explanation that explains why he deals with the world the way a bored, gently psychotic 8 year old who knows where daddy keeps a can of petrol in the garage.
Will he get us all killed along the way? Who knows! It…