Tootfinder

After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.

“The core idea is that your conversations with an AI assistant should be as private as your conversations with a person. Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because privacy is what lets you think freely.”
Moxie Marlinspike, Confessions to a data lake https://confer.to/blog/2025/12/confess

In a conversation at this year's
Billionaire's convention
—aka the World Economic Forum
—Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella warned that AI will lose public support
unless it's used to "do something useful that changes the outcomes of people and communities and countries and industries."
"We will quickly lose even the social permission to take something like energy,
which is a scarce resource,
and use it to generate these tokens,

Microsoft CEO warns that we must 'do something useful' with AI or they'll lose 'social permission' to burn electricity on it
Workers should learn AI skills and companies should use it because it's a "cognitive amplifier," claims Satya Nadella.

A lot of their strategies are like spammers and phishers: they’re kind of stupid, they’re kind of lazy, but they just spend all day trying — and they only have to catch somebody off guard once. And so while they lazy it up, we have to remain in a state of ceaseless vigilance…because as we all know from phishing scams, everybody slips up eventually.

Blue Origin unveils TeraWave, a satellite communications network for enterprise, data center, and government customers, and plans to begin deployment in Q4 2027 (Annie Palmer/CNBC)
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/01/21/bezos-blue-origin-satellite-internet-sp…

Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin launches satellite internet service to rival SpaceX, Amazon
Blue Origin is looking to send the first of TeraWave's 5,408 satellites into space in the fourth quarter of 2027.

#Tampere two weeks ago. Bikes on the frozen lake. And a queue.
#pyöräily

The Hidden Backdoor to 200 Airports: A Supply Chain Failure in Aviation
A single leaked credential from a fourth-party vendor recently exposed the digital infrastructure of 200 global airports. This security failure highlights how a lack of Multi-Factor Authentication can jeopardize critical systems, including baggage reconciliation and passenger kiosks. Discover how SVigil identified this backdoor before it cost the industry billions.
✈️

The Hidden Backdoor to 200 Airports: A Supply Chain Failure in Aviation | CloudSEK
A single leaked credential from a fourth-party vendor recently exposed the digital infrastructure of 200 global airports. This security failure highlights how a lack of Multi-Factor Authentication can jeopardize critical systems, including baggage reconciliation and passenger kiosks. Discover how SVigil identified this backdoor before it cost the industry billions.

First weekend of spring, but dreaming of autumn...
#SilentSunday #LandscapePhotography #NaturePhotography

South Korea enacts the AI Basic Act, which it says includes the world's first comprehensive set of laws regulating AI, as startups warn of compliance burdens (Kyu-Seok Shim/Reuters)
https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific<…

From that observer who was taken yesterday, shared here with permission, because we could all use a good laugh. (Note: Whipple is the fed bldg that’s ICE’s MSP HQ)
❝So here’s my story about returning to the world…
When they let you out of Whipple, they give you back your personal effects (minus your phone). And just send you out the front door with whatever you were wearing when you came in.
So I’m walking out the front door of Whipple, probably looking like an ice agent coming off shift, and pulling all of my random shit out of my bag/dropping it in the snowbank, etc.… And I can hear the protesters at the gate, taunting me… “oh did you drop your phone, you piece of shit?” “You’re TERRIBLE!” “Fucking Nazi!” And I was just loving it, actually. But when I got closer and used my big voice “You assholes are barking up the wrong tree…. These MF’ers just released me!” The crowd went absolutely crazy.❞