Tootfinder

I’m rambling, and struggling to figure out the heart of what I’m getting at.
It’s something about how maybe we should view the fecklessness of Democratic politicians the OP laments not as the •source• of the problem, but as the inevitable result of failing to form anti-fascist coalition, and to make that coalition into the other major political party in this country.
I feel like there’s something useful in there, something maybe strategically helpful that gives us a sense of agency. And man do I hate grand political cynicisms that rob us of our sense of agency.
/end

How popular media gets love wrong
Okay, my attempt at (hopefully widely-applicable) advice about relationships based on my mental "engineering" model and how it differs from the popular "fire" and "appeal" models:
1. If you're looking for a partner, don't focus too much on external qualities, but instead ask: "Do they respect me?" "Are they interested in active consent in all aspects of our relationship?" "Are they willing to commit a little now, and open to respectfully negotiating deeper commitment?" "Are they trustworthy, and willing to trust me?" Finding your partner attractive can come *from* trusting/appreciating/respecting them, rather than vice versa.
2. If you're looking for a partner, don't wait for infatuation to start before you try building a relationship. Don't wait to "fall in love;" if you "fall" into love you could just as easily "fall" out, but if you build up love, it won't be so easy to destroy. If you're feeling lonely and want a relationship, pick someone who seems interesting and receptive in your social circles and ask if they'd like to do something with you (doesn't have to be a date at first). *Pursue active consent* at each stage (if they're not interested; ask someone else, this will be easier if you're not already infatuated). If they're judging you by the standards in point 1, this is doubly important.
3. When building a relationship, try to synchronize your levels of commitment & trust even as you're trying to deepen them, or at least try to be honest and accepting when they need to be out-of-step. Say things and do things that show your partner the things (like trust, commitment, affection, etc.) that are important in your relationship, and ask them to do the same (or ideally you don't have to ask if they're conscious of this too). Do these things not as a chore or a transaction when your partner does them, but because they're the work of building the relationship that you value for its own sake (and because you value your partner for themselves too).
4. When facing big external challenges to your commitment to a relationship, like a move, ensure that your partner has an appropriate level of commitment too, but then don't undervalue the relationship relative to other things in life. Everyone is different, but *to me*, my committed relationship has been far more rewarding than e.g., a more "successful" career would have been. Of course worth noting here that non-men are taught by our society to undervalue their careers & other aspects of their life and sacrifice everything for their partners, which is toxic. I'm not saying "don't value other things" but especially for men, *do* value romantic relationships and be prepared to make decisions that prioritize them over other things, assuming a partner who is comfortable with that commitment and willing to reciprocate.
Okay, this thread is complete for now, until I think of something else that I've missed. I hope this advice is helpful in some way (or at least not harmful). Feel free to chime in if you've got different ideas...
#relationships #love

I was late to pick my daughter up from camp because #NYCParks closed a huge portion of Corona-Meadows Flushing Park. Apparently for some kind of music festival. There was, of course, no bike detour. The area has highways running through it, and the bridges over the highways are cordoned off. How do you get to

The DOGE team at SSA might have violated FISMA and other laws by not following security protocols as spelled out in NIST's SP 800-53, which are mandatory for all government agencies.
It's no surprise then that a whistleblower is warning that we have lost the ability to see who is accessing 300 million Americans' most sensitive information after DOGE moved SSA data to their own Amazon cloud instance.
Thanks to John Skinner, former project lead for 18F, for his expert i…

Whistleblower: DOGE put Social Security database covering 300 million Americans on insecure cloud
The complaint accuses DOGE of bypassing security protocols to move Americans’ sensitive personal data outside federal oversight and onto an insecure AWS cloud instance, potentially violating established security practices and several laws.

Foggy fog 🌫️
雾雾的雾 🌫️
📷 Pentax MX
🎞️ Ilford HP5 Plus, expired 1993
#filmphotography #Photography #blackandwhite

🤔 Looking at this UI, Forem could probably implement ActivityPub at this point.
Every logo is a server. "Forem feed" = Federated timeline. "Follow" = follow and adding their Local timeline to my Following timeline? 🤔
Related discussion: https://github.com/forem/forem/discuss

Frank Price, the writer-producer who presided over the TV and movie divisions at Universal and served two terms as the head of Columbia Pictures, dies at 95 (Mike Barnes/The Hollywood Reporter)
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/m

Frank Price, Studio Chief at Columbia (Twice) and Universal, Dies at 95
He first made his mark as a producer on NBC's 'The Virginian' and greenlighted films including 'Gandhi,' 'Tootsie,' 'Back to the Future' and 'Boyz n the Hood.

Federal Reserve Governor
Lisa Cook's lawyer
has filed a lawsuit against Trump
following his unprecedented attempt to fire her on Monday.
Many experts fear that the president's latest action could spell the end of the Fed's independence.

Human used Poof Ball.
It was Super Effective!

I haven’t been very active in the last month. I haven’t watched many movies or taken much photography. All of this is because I finally found a new flat away from city life, close to nature. One thing that has changed is that I’m back to being very active on Couchsurfing. I love meeting new people from around the world, fellow travelers with great stories, and maybe even friends for life. This is much more interesting and important than following every footstep on what’s happening in the new…