Tootfinder

After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.

It’s hard for me to imagine more clear-cut defiance of the injunction. These shits are trying to run the legal blockade by pretend pretending it doesn’t even exist — and Bovino is not only fully aware but physically present for it. Contempt of court is completely meaningless at this point; I dare any judge to prove me wrong.

“This workforce has been fundamentally traumatized in the way that this leadership team said that they intended to do at the outset,”
Max Stier, Partnership for Public Service’s CEO, told Government Executive.
“That’s not good for anyone. It’s bad for the workforce, it’s fundamentally bad for the American people, and it will lead to us to be less safe, healthy and prosperous as a society.
The things that we want and need from government are not what we’ll get.”
The su…

Defense workers' morale has plunged under Trump, survey finds
Only 9% of Army civilians found Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s leadership motivating.

"We have to build industrial-level security for AI agents in that particular area. To me, that's still a gap that somebody needs to work on," Raj Sharma, EY's global managing partner of growth and innovation said.
Execs at Davos say AI's biggest problem isn't hype — it's security

Execs at Davos say AI's biggest problem isn't hype — it's security
EY and KPMG executives at Davos said that AI security is a big risk, especially AI agents and, looking ahead, quantum computing.

RFK Jr. Says He's Ending the War on Protein. It Doesn't Exist (Sam Eagan/Wired)
https://www.wired.com/story/rfk-jr-says-hes-ending-the-war-on-protein-it-doesnt-exist/
http://www.memeorandum.com/260116/p57#a260116p57

The fact that so many - including Wikipedia - rely on a shady website that (unsurprisingly?) is doing some really shady stuff recently shines a light on major shortcomings of newspaper websites: they want your data to share it with 900 "partners", are nevertheless full of ads and every redesign breaks deep links to their articles.
Like Napster/Limewire before, archive.today provides a service that solves an actual need of many Internet users.

In today's Coding Black Mirror episode: what if AI code generators get sped up to emit tens of thousands of tokens per second?
For now we're pretending LLMs are just sloppy devs and try to review the output, which is already exhausting.
When it gets to the point of being able to rewrite the whole project on every keystroke, source code won't be the source any more, but a discardable compiler output. Switching languages will be like applying Photoshop filters?

Slice, which uses AI agents to encode tax policies and legal rules across 60 countries, raised a $25M Series A led by Insight, taking its total funding to $32M (Mary Ann Azevedo/This Week in Fintech)
https://www.thisweekinfintech.com/slice-ra

Slice Raises $25M Series A Led By Insight Partners For AI-Powered Global Equity Compliance
Slice Global Equity, an equity compliance and management startup, announced Wednesday that it has raised $25 million in Series A funding. Insight Partners led the financing, which included participation from Fenwick and Cooley LLP and existing backers TLV Partners, R-Squared Ventures, and Jibe Ventures. The round brings Slice’s total

In today's Coding Black Mirror episode: what if AI code generators get sped up to emit tens of thousands of tokens per second?
For now we're pretending LLMs are just sloppy devs and try to review the output, which is already exhausting.
When it gets to the point of being able to rewrite the whole project on every keystroke, source code won't be the source any more, but a discardable compiler output. Switching languages will be like applying Photoshop filters?

“This is the most complicated thing that you could possibly imagine,” said Mike Williams, a physicist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
“In fact, you can’t even imagine how complicated it is.”
The proton is a quantum mechanical object that exists as a haze of probabilities until an experiment forces it to take a concrete form.
And its forms differ drastically depending on how researchers set up their experiment.
Connecting the particle’s many faces has …