Tootfinder

How popular media gets love wrong
Okay, so what exactly are the details of the "engineered" model of love from my previous post? I'll try to summarize my thoughts and the experiences they're built on.
1. "Love" can be be thought of like a mechanism that's built by two (or more) people. In this case, no single person can build the thing alone, to work it needs contributions from multiple people (I suppose self-love might be an exception to that). In any case, the builders can intentionally choose how they build (and maintain) the mechanism, they can build it differently to suit their particular needs/wants, and they will need to maintain and repair it over time to keep it running. It may need winding, or fuel, or charging plus oil changes and bolt-tightening, etc.
2. Any two (or more) people can choose to start building love between them at any time. No need to "find your soulmate" or "wait for the right person." Now the caveat is that the mechanism is difficult to build and requires lots of cooperation, so there might indeed be "wrong people" to try to build love with. People in general might experience more failures than successes. The key component is slowly-escalating shared commitment to the project, which is negotiated between the partners so that neither one feels like they've been left to do all the work themselves. Since it's a big scary project though, it's very easy to decide it's too hard and give up, and so the builders need to encourage each other and pace themselves. The project can only succeed if there's mutual commitment, and that will certainly require compromise (sometimes even sacrifice, though not always). If the mechanism works well, the benefits (companionship; encouragement; praise; loving sex; hugs; etc.) will be well worth the compromises you make to build it, but this isn't always the case.
3. The mechanism is prone to falling apart if not maintained. In my view, the "fire" and "appeal" models of love don't adequately convey the need for this maintenance and lead to a lot of under-maintained relationships many of which fall apart. You'll need to do things together that make you happy, do things that make your partner happy (in some cases even if they annoy you, but never in a transactional or box-checking way), spend time with shared attention, spend time alone and/or apart, reassure each other through words (or deeds) of mutual beliefs (especially your continued commitment to the relationship), do things that comfort and/or excite each other physically (anywhere from hugs to hand-holding to sex) and probably other things I'm not thinking of. Not *every* relationship needs *all* of these maintenance techniques, but I think most will need most. Note especially that patriarchy teaches men that they don't need to bother with any of this, which harms primarily their romantic partners but secondarily them as their relationships fail due to their own (cultivated-by-patriarchy) incompetence. If a relationship evolves to a point where one person is doing all the maintenance (& improvement) work, it's been bent into a shape that no longer really qualifies as "love" in my book, and that's super unhealthy.
4. The key things to negotiate when trying to build a new love are first, how to work together in the first place, and how to be comfortable around each others' habits (or how to change those habits). Second, what level of commitment you have right now, and what how/when you want to increase that commitment. Additionally, I think it's worth checking in about what you're each putting into and getting out of the relationship, to ensure that it continues to be positive for all participants. To build a successful relationship, you need to be able to incrementally increase the level of commitment to one that you're both comfortable staying at long-term, while ensuring that for both partners, the relationship is both a net benefit and has manageable costs (those two things are not the same). Obviously it's not easy to actually have conversations about these things (congratulations if you can just talk about this stuff) because there's a huge fear of hearing an answer that you don't want to hear. I think the range of discouraging answers which actually spell doom for a relationship is smaller than people think and there's usually a reasonable "shoulder" you can fall into where things aren't on a good trajectory but could be brought back into one, but even so these conversations are scary. Still, I think only having honest conversations about these things when you're angry at each other is not a good plan. You can also try to communicate some of these things via non-conversational means, if that feels safer, and at least being aware that these are the objectives you're pursuing is probably helpful.
I'll post two more replies here about my own experiences that led me to this mental model and trying to distill this into advice, although it will take me a moment to get to those.
#relationships #love

Taming Domain Shift in Multi-source CT-Scan Classification via Input-Space Standardization
Chia-Ming Lee, Bo-Cheng Qiu, Ting-Yao Chen, Ming-Han Sun, Fang-Ying Lin, Jung-Tse Tsai, I-An Tsai, Yu-Fan Lin, Chih-Chung Hsu
https://arxiv.org/abs/2507.19858

Taming Domain Shift in Multi-source CT-Scan Classification via Input-Space Standardization
Multi-source CT-scan classification suffers from domain shifts that impair cross-source generalization. While preprocessing pipelines combining Spatial-Slice Feature Learning (SSFL++) and Kernel-Density-based Slice Sampling (KDS) have shown empirical success, the mechanisms underlying their domain robustness remain underexplored. This study analyzes how this input-space standardization manages the trade-off between local discriminability and cross-source generalization. The SSFL++ and KDS pipel…

Central limit theorems for the eigenvalues of graph Laplacians on data clouds
Chenghui Li, Nicol\'as Garc\'ia Trillos, Housen Li, Leo Suchan
https://arxiv.org/abs/2507.18803

Central limit theorems for the eigenvalues of graph Laplacians on data clouds
Given i.i.d.\ samples $X_n =\{ x_1, \dots, x_n \}$ from a distribution supported on a low dimensional manifold ${M}$ embedded in Eucliden space, we consider the graph Laplacian operator $Δ_n$ associated to an $\varepsilon$-proximity graph over $X_n$ and study the asymptotic fluctuations of its eigenvalues around their means. In particular, letting $\hatλ_l^\varepsilon$ denote the $l$-th eigenvalue of $Δ_n$, and under suitable assumptions on the data generating model and on the rate of decay …

Just got a small space heater and damn it’s so much more comfortable here now
As a @… fan I’d prefer if my AC/heat pump supported heating mode, but welp it was already installed when I moved here so an electric heater will do it for the 2 days a year it’s actually cold enough for that to be useful here. Getting all that heat from the bedroom to the living room would be a problem anyway.
And I didn’t even need to make a fire hazard in order to use it since a 20A outlet was already around due to the coffee thingy, yay!
It’s been on for just around 40mins and it’s already sooo much better in here (the temp sensor is not on the side the heater is pointing to (the sofa) so it’ll take a while for it to reflect the change specially since this is a big room (kitchen dinner living), but just pointing the heater to where I’m at is enough to make it a comfortable temperature (and probably even way too hot in a bit)).
I’ve been wanting this for a while, but it never felt worth it bc we don’t really have many cold days here. Tho this year we got some more I think and today was specially cold (9~11°C) so I decided to just do it. Extra points bc it was available on fucking iFood of all places so it arrived less than an hour after I ordered it lmao.

Fragmented quantum phases in anti-blockade regime of Rydberg atom array
Han-Chao Chen, Zheng-Yuan Zhang, Meng Zhou, Xin Liu, Li-Hua Zhang, Bang Liu, Lu-Xia Wang, Dong-Sheng Ding, Bao-Sen Shi
https://arxiv.org/abs/2507.17488

Fragmented quantum phases in anti-blockade regime of Rydberg atom array
In this Letter, we report a parameter-dependent Hilbert space fragmentation in a one-dimensional Rydberg atom array under anti-blockade conditions. We identify distinct non-equilibrium dynamical phases and show that their quasi-periodic behavior arises from the interplay of multi-path interference and multi-photon cascaded excitations, reflecting fundamental differences in state connectivity and effective dimensionality. By constructing a complete phase diagram, we reveal the transition from th…

Benchmarking and Parallelization of Electrostatic Particle-In-Cell for low-temperature Plasma Simulation by particle-thread Binding
Libn Varghese, Bhaskar Chaudhury, Miral Shah, Mainak Bandyopadhyay
https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.21524

Benchmarking and Parallelization of Electrostatic Particle-In-Cell for low-temperature Plasma Simulation by particle-thread Binding
The Particle-In-Cell (PIC) method for plasma simulation tracks particle phase space information using particle and grid data structures. High computational costs in 2D and 3D device-scale PIC simulations necessitate parallelization, with the Charge Deposition (CD) subroutine often becoming a bottleneck due to frequent particle-grid interactions. Conventional methods mitigate dependencies by generating private grids for each core, but this approach faces scalability issues. We propose a novel ap…

Saddle-point method for resummed form factors in QCD
Ugo Giuseppe Aglietti, Giancarlo Ferrera, Wan-Li Ju
https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.18707 https://

Saddle-point method for resummed form factors in QCD
We consider the form factor appearing in QCD resummation formalism for event shape distributions in the two-jet (or Sudakov) region. We present an analytic formula for the inverse transform of the form factor, namely from the conjugate moment space to the (physical) momentum space, based on the saddle-point method. The saddle-point itself is determined by means of an analytic recursion method as well as by standard numerical methods. The results we have found are in very good agreement with the…

Impact of Low-Earth Orbit Satellites on the China Space Station Telescope Observations
Huai-Jin Tang, Xiao-Lei Meng, Hu Zhan, Xian-Min Meng, You-Hua Xu
https://arxiv.org/abs/2507.14994

Impact of Low-Earth Orbit Satellites on the China Space Station Telescope Observations
It is projected that more than 100,000 communication satellites will be deployed in Low-Earth Orbit (LEO) over the next decade. These LEO satellites (LEOsats) will be captured frequently by the survey camera onboard the China Space Station Telescope (CSST), contaminating sources in the images. As such, it is necessary to assess the impact of LEOsats on CSST survey observations. We use the images taken by the Hubble Space Telescope (HST) in its F814W band to simulate $i$-band images for the CSST…

Probing valence electron and hydrogen dynamics using charge-pair imaging with ultrafast electron diffraction
Tianyu Wang, Hui Jiang, Ming Zhang, Xiao Zou, Pengfei Zhu, Feng He, Zheng Li, Dao Xiang
https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.21047

Probing valence electron and hydrogen dynamics using charge-pair imaging with ultrafast electron diffraction
A key challenge in ultrafast science has been to directly track the coupled motions of electrons and nuclei in real-space and real-time. This study presents a significant step towards this goal by demonstrating the feasibility of time-resolved real-space tracking of valence electron and hydrogen dynamics during the photodissociation of ammonia (NH3) using MeV ultrafast electron diffraction. It is demonstrated that the enhanced temporal resolution, in conjunction with the analysis of the charge-…