Tootfinder

After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.

How Cash App founder Bob Lee's 2023 killing fed into a narrative pushed by tech leaders like Elon Musk about SF's decline until an acquaintance was convicted (Shawn Wen/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/20

There are all sorts of complex practices and laws around churches, because "religious freedom" is really a minefield. It's not that the state cares about the law, but that the narrative of the US is deeply intertwined with the narrative of "religious freedom" and "escaping religious persecution." (I probably don't need to tell anyone that the people "escaping religious persecution" were some of the absolute worst humans on the planet who were not being persecuted but wanted to be free to persecute others... but I digress.)
It is not aligning with the law that matters, nor any other sort of legal justification for their authority. Authority comes from a complex memetic fabric of woven ideas. This fabric can be attacked, these threads can be pulled out, and eventually the fabric unravels and the authority collapses.
When central authority collapses, dual power institutions pick up the pieces. They replace the faltering authority. Today, as the US government is frantically burning itself down, corporations and churches are the two most developed institutions prepared to fill that void,

Ich bin definitiv nicht "normal". ,
Ich bin bisexuell und diagnostizierter Autist. Mir macht der CDU-Slogan: "Politik für ganz normale Leute" deshalb Angst. Eindeutig angehängt an das noAfD-Motto: "Deutschland aber normal". Man sieht mir meine Neurodiversität ebenso wenig an wie meine sexuelle Orientierung, daher fürchte ich mehr als um mich um Freund*innen, die z. B. sichtbar behindert, of color oder erkennbar keine "deutsche Eingeborenen" sind.

„Nius“ gibt sich als Gegenstimme zum Mainstream — tatsächlich funktioniert das Portal wie ein politisches Instrument. Julian Reichelt setzt auf Zuspitzung und untergräbt gezielt Vertrauen in andere Medien, um sich selbst als Alternative zu etablieren. Der SPIEGEL zeigt, wie eng das Projekt mit rechten Narrativen arbeitet.
Nähe zur AfD ist funktional, zur CDU strategisch, Glaubwürdigkeit zweitrangig.
#Nius

InsideSD, a site run by city government, dominates Google's AI-powered search results about San Diego, making government views the only ones most will see (Claire Trageser/Axios)
https://www.axios.com/local/san-diego/2026

Google AI search boosts city of San Diego's news narrative
Search results often highlight the city's own posts, leaving out outside reporting and criticism.

Bari Weiss is a fucking monster.
Once upon a time, radio was the hot communication tech driving startups. Bill Paley bought a controlling chunk of a struggling new radio network from Columbia Records and somehow managed to compete with RCA’s National Broadcasting Company. CBS put men in Europe who formed our narratives of the 30s and 40s and defined what Americans still think about that time.
It was the last radio news network

Ich kann diese ständigen Meldungen, wie uns KI alle retten wird, nicht mehr sehen!
Alles ist angeblich mit KI auf dem Optimierungsweg.
Ernährung, Umweltschutz, Klimakrise, ...
Nachweise: Fehlanzeige.
Das Narrativ ist dennoch erfolgreich, weil es verspricht, dass wir so weiter machen können, wie bisher.
Gegen alle Erkenntnisse.

In recent interviews, Sam Altman said AI's adoption faces more resistance than he expected, while Jensen Huang warned the "doomer narrative" may be winning (David Streitfeld/New York Times)
https://www.nytimes.com/20…

"Politik für ganz normale Leute." So ein CDU-Plakat. Das hängt sich eindeutig an das noAfD-Motto: "Deutschland aber normal" dran.
Die Blau-Faschos bestimmen nicht, wer "normal" ist, sondern hängen einem weit verbreiteten Begriff von "Normalität" an: Weiß, nichtbehindert, cis, hetero, deutscher oder "artverwandter" Abstammung, neurotypisch, monogam, im Lebensstil angepasst und unauffällig bis zur Spießigkeit. Und bitte nicht politisch l…