Tootfinder

After an unfortunate finger slip, I briefly tried to call the arse_url() function in PHP.
Now I kinda want to write an RFC to add it..
#PHP #Silliness #Programming

Gah! Fucking #PHP arrays...

Let's be controversial: In modern #PHP, you should never type-hint an array.
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/array-type-hint

🚀 #PHP 150x faster – no rewrite needed! #FrankenPHP threads #Swow coroutines #PHP Generators

Functional programming isn't just for Haskell developers. It's for #PHP developers, too. "Thinking Functionally in PHP" is available from LeanPub.
https://leanpub.com/thinking-functiona

Thinking Functionally in PHP
Functional programming in PHP 7.4, with a side of category theory and monads accessible to everyone.

Hey Webseite, zeige mir doch mal alle Kommentare mit Eigenschaft X.
Webseite: 500
> PHP Fatal error: Uncaught DivisionByZeroError: Division by zero
🤦‍♂️
#PHP #Serendipity

php -S localhost:8000 -t .
HOLY CRAP!?! How have I never known that PHP has a built-in web server for development? How long has this been thing? (Rhetorical question as I'm about to look it up, just stating for emphasis on my surprise to have just found this option.)
#PHP

Unexpectedly found a pack of my homemade bacon in the freezer.
Expectedly, made me think of Jefferson McCree. 💔
#php

Watching Alexandre Daubois talk about PHP runtime vulnerabilities at #phptek

Let's be controversial: In modern #PHP, you should never type-hint an array.
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/array-type-hint

About to run InfectionPHP on this PHPUnit testsuite... 😱
#InfectionPHP #PHP #PHPUnit

Are you a #PHP developer and you want to know how to work with #Al #coding tools? 🧑‍🏫
Here is the deal:
You message Jochen (not me!) – he has a video call and he gives you a task for an enha…

Some thoughts on the proposed #PHP Generics RFC.
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/erased-php-generics-2026

Any super smart #php folks here know how to mock built-in functions like ‘glob’?
I know I could wrap calls to it in a class that I could mock, but I hate adding code just for a test.
Please boost!

The best post-conference-speaking feedback I can get is "I changed how I did things because of your talk."
Yep, I did get that after #PHPTek this week. Victory!
I'm so glad people found my sessions helpful.
#php

Avoid N 1 queries when validating array inputs in #php #Laravel ☝️
Instead of running `exists` per item, preload your data once and validate against it ✅
Cleaner code, better performance ⚡

It's always neat to be in a conference talk where someone is talking about #PHP features I helped make happen.
#PHPTek

We need to have a talk #PHP, this is not supposed to happen when I do cool cutting-edge things:

Hey #php developers out there 👀 👋
What tools do you use to make your #ai write "good" code? 😏
#phpstan,

I'm finally looking at the other sessions at #PHPTek next week, and damn, almost every time slot has more than one session I really want to go to.
Damn you, PHP Tek team! Well done.
#php

On empty return values. #PHP
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/empty-return-values

Just asked #Qwen 3.6 Plus what the current versions of #PHP and #Laravel are… it confidently said PHP 8.5 and Laravel 13 😄
I was like “wait, what?!” and asked again. Turns out it just extrapolat…

Just had an intro call with @…'s new Executive Director, @….
I'm confident the Foundation is in good hands.
#PHP

I benchmarked #PHP's native serializer vs code export. You won't believe what I found!
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/benchmarking-serialization

📱 #React 19 frontend with #TypeScript, fuzzy search across keyboard layouts, #PHP 8.4 with 40 API endpoints. 100% free &

Bypassing #PHP visibility controls. Please don't do this often.
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/phptricks-access-control-bypass

💻 Supported RAT commands: ping (heartbeat every 60s), info (system recon), cmd, powershell, run (background shell), screenshot, download, upload, stop
🛡️ Shell execution probes disable_functions and picks first available method from: popen, proc_open, exec, shell_exec, system, passthru — resilient against common #PHP hardening
🔄 C2 connection retries every 15 seconds in a persistent l…

Using #PSR-3 placeholders properly in PHP (and other awesome alliterations).
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/psr-3-properly

Null is problematic, but why? Let's see why, and let that guide us to new alternatives. #PHP
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/much-ado-about-null

🏗️ Composer integration out of the box: PSR-4, Classmap & autoload_files. Only classes your autoloader actually knows appear in completion.
🌀 Full #Laravel Eloquent support: Relationships, Scopes, Accessors, Casts & Builder chains – no Larastan or ide-helper needed.
📦 JetBrains #PHP

Running #Lando on GitHub Actions. #Laravel #PHP
https://www.

You can't stop the evolution... 🦋
#phpunit ➡️ #pest ➡️ #testo

Reminder: your #ai #coding agent needs a lot of guardrails; otherwise, it generates a lot of crap, even opus... 😞
Fixing these errors at the end of the day takes forever.
It's better to run your linters and tests after every change...

⚠️ Fake #Laravel packages on #Packagist deploy a cross-platform #RAT on Windows, macOS & Linux — researchers at Socket flagged 3 malicious

Here is my résumé when it comes to using #GLM 5.1 for refactoring a large #php #laravel code based on #sonarqube

#Idempotency: What, Why & How — deep dive into safe retries in #Laravel
🔁 #PHP #API

#FilaTeams - Team Management #Plugin for #Filament 5 #PHP

#AppDevPanel - Universal #PHP Debug Panel for #Symfony, #Laravel,

#PHPantom – ultra-fast #PHP Language Server written in #Rust 🦀 #LSP

#DelegatedTypes in #Laravel — Smarter Alternative to STI #PHP #Eloquent