Tootfinder

Functional programming isn't just for Haskell developers. It's for #PHP developers, too. "Thinking Functionally in PHP" is available from LeanPub.
https://leanpub.com/thinking-functiona

Thinking Functionally in PHP
Functional programming in PHP 7.4, with a side of category theory and monads accessible to everyone.

🚀 #Laravel now speaks #ClickHouse! laravel-clickhouse brings Eloquent, Query Builder & Schema Builder to the world's fastest OLAP database — familiar API, zero friction. #PHP

Using #PSR-3 placeholders properly in PHP (and other awesome alliterations).
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/psr-3-properly

O hello PHP, haven't seen you toss this error at my before:
#php

anyone here experienced with #PHP stuff, #MIDI stuff, or both stuff, and willing to help out on a dumb little project of mine? we could use more hands (or paws, or other appendages)
boosts appreciated

I have now reached the "how did this ever work?" stage of debugging.
#PHP #Programming

I hate dealing with file permissions. *HATE*.
#Programming #PHP

Running #Lando on GitHub Actions. #Laravel #PHP
https://www.

Watching Alexandre Daubois talk about PHP runtime vulnerabilities at #phptek

Updating a small project to the latest and greatest PHPStan and PHP versions:
#PHP #PHPStan

🏗️ Worker supervisor — a Horizon replacement that auto-scales workers on any driver, with crash-recovery, graceful shutdown & multi-node fleet support, validated by a chaos battery
🧰 Requires #PHP 8.2 , #Laravel 12/13 & Livewire 3.5 — install via Composer, ships

Full circle happening to my developer career right now, friends!
#Swift now has a disambiguating PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM! (and no, I did not look up how to spell that; it is burned into my mind from #PHP 25 years ago)

Some thoughts on the proposed #PHP Generics RFC.
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/erased-php-generics-2026

🛡️ #Vigilance is a driver-agnostic control center for #Laravel queues, jobs, commands & the scheduler — plus whole-app APM, tracing, metrics, alerts & uptime. Self-hosted & production-safe #PHP

The best post-conference-speaking feedback I can get is "I changed how I did things because of your talk."
Yep, I did get that after #PHPTek this week. Victory!
I'm so glad people found my sessions helpful.
#php

This came up with @… @… and @… tonight…
At the

It's always neat to be in a conference talk where someone is talking about #PHP features I helped make happen.
#PHPTek

Confirmed one of my expectations that the current/old NAS I'm using was the bottleneck for image conversion. Hooked up a new NAS over the weekend, directly in the VLAN, and with faster drives; almost directly on the first run, proving that #PHP and the #RaspberryPi's where neve…

🔍 #PHPFTS: a self-contained full-text search engine in pure #PHP — no extensions, no dependencies, just files. Trigram indexing, BM25 IDF scoring, filters & typo-tolerant matching. Runs on any PHP 8.1 shared host.

I'm finally looking at the other sessions at #PHPTek next week, and damn, almost every time slot has more than one session I really want to go to.
Damn you, PHP Tek team! Well done.
#php

Has anyone else seen this "No space left on device" on GitHub Actions come up recently?
#GitHub #PHP #CI

🔌 Non-blocking I/O for regular #PHP functions. fread, fwrite, file_get_contents, ob_start, curl, #MySQL, and #PostgreSQL now work asynchronously without extra effort.
🖥️ Built-in TrueAsync S…

When should you use #PHP Enums, and when shouldn't you?
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/on-the-use-of-enums

⚡ #TrueAsync is an experimental library bringing true asynchronous programming to #PHP — coroutines, async/await, and non-blocking I/O built into the language core. Write high-performance concurrent applications with clean, readable code and minimal changes.

What the actual fuck!:
#protobuf #php

RE: #php

Using #PSR-3 placeholders properly in PHP (and other awesome alliterations).
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/psr-3-properly

When should you use #PHP Enums, and when shouldn't you?
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/on-the-use-of-enums

📄 #Parsel — an open-source #PHP document parser for #PDF, Office docs & images. Local processing, no external service. Extract text, structured data, coordinates & screenshots. Requires

On empty return values. #PHP
https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/empty-return-values

Take the JetBrains developer survey 2026! (Use the link below so I get referral credit. :-) )
https://surveys.jetbrains.com/s3/developer-ecosystem-survey-2026-sh?pcode=219595885222191163

#Idempotency: What, Why & How — deep dive into safe retries in #Laravel
🔁 #PHP #API