Tootfinder

Obligatory... Via Mark Niebergall.
#phptek

Heading back ORD-AUS soon. Thanks to everyone who organized, sponsored, spoke at, or attended #phptek! It's great to see the in-person community growing again, including a bunch of new faces to the PHP conference scene, plus another bunch of folks who I haven't seen in awhile.
Let's do this again soon!

AMEN!
Via @…
#phptek #OSS

Opening keynote for today at #phptek is @… tilting at the "Saving Open Source" windmill

Fact check: True.
Via @… #phptek

*Remove* alt tags for decorative images. Alt="" is the worst thing you could do - Paulo Fernandes #phptek #a11y

1 Insightful
Via @…
#phptek

"PHP has thrived in anarchy for 25 years" - @… #phptek

Uh oh. Got called out by @….
#phptek

Data consistency is everything in enterprise - @… #phptek

Crash course in ethical theory from @….
#phptek

Data consistency is everything in enterprise - @… #phptek

"The last time I touched DB2, I got IBM cooties." - @…
#phptek

It's #Wurstcon time! #phptek

Good guidelines to consider when collecting data. Via @…
#phptek

This morning's #phptek keynote is Une Habiba, talking about finding your perfect place in tech.

"We never want your database to be upset at your query." via @…
#phptek

Divs and spans are ignored by screen readers. Use semantic HTML so screen readers know the structure of the document - Paulo Fernandes at the #phptek Uncon

"I learned by opening things up and seeing how they work." - @…
#phptek

. @… scaling back expectations for his "Saving Open Source" keynote at #phptek

TIL that GROUP BY GROUPING SETS exists. Also ROLLUP, which is even more terse and powerful. Thanks, @…! #phptek
This exists in Postgres as of 9.5, while ROLLUP exists in a janky fashion in MySQL.

Mundane data has been used for all kinds of nefarious purposes. Via @…
#phptek

"My name is Elizabeth Smith. I've been programming in PHP since *mumble*"
- @… starting off her Modern SQL #phptek talk

Fake Ben Ramsey (left) and Real Ben Ramsey doing a karaoke duet.
@…
#phptek

"My name is Elizabeth Smith. I've been programming in PHP since *mumble*"
- @… starting off her Modern SQL #phptek talk

Lunch conversation at #phptek: Career advice, cosmology, and quantum theory.
#PHP

"I'll stop lecturing on that." - @…
"No you won't." - @…
#phptek

It's karaoke o'clock at #phptek. PHPear..

Now in @…'s #phptek talk about https://github.com/PhoneBurnerOpenSour

GitHub - PhoneBurnerOpenSource/api-handler
Contribute to PhoneBurnerOpenSource/api-handler development by creating an account on GitHub.

"When life throws lemons at you, at some point you can't make more lemonade." via @…
#phptek

Does #oss need saving?
What are we saving it from?
What are we saving it for?
- @… #phptek

"I began surfing the waves of the information superhighway." - @…, showing his age.
#phptek

"When you go out to teach someone, you have to learn it yourself." - @…
True words.
#phptek

OLAP = Online Analytical Processing
The sorta thing that if you let accountants do wrong they'll toast your database.
OLAP is *not* a character in Frozen.
- paraphrased from @… #phptek

Prepare for a grumpy session! #phptek #cqrs

If you have a decorative image, omit alt text and your screen reader will skip it. If you want people to see your image via screen readers, use alt text. - Paulo Fernandes #a11y #phptek

What? Actually use database features developed after 1992?
@… dropping the controversial truth...
#phptek

If you have a decorative image, omit alt text and your screen reader will skip it. If you want people to see your image via screen readers, use alt text. - Paulo Fernandes #a11y #phptek

Hey, I remember that talk from 2020! #phptek

Time to talk SDKs with @… at #phptek

I want go to all four 10am sessions at #phptek today. Damnit, organizers!

TIL LAG() and LEAD() on dates in windowing functions.
I think I saw this presentation from @… back in 2017 at PNWPHP but I'm catching a lot of new stuff this time.
And this is *an uncon talk*
#phptek

Oh god, trauma flashbacks to elementary school... #phptek

The SQL standard got built out originally by, among others, Oracle, Sybase, IBM, and SAP.
Microsoft wasn't on the list because they hadn't bought Sybase yet, and didn't have a database product of their own.
- @… #phptek

The government is good at making standards standard.
Until you defund that department, and then it all went to hell.
Via @…
#phptek

Time to talk about AI/ML/LLMs with @… at #phptek

. @… is holding court on #PHP Internals history for the #phptek after after party...

It's time to learn how to git gud with @… at #phptek

We're here for the inaugural release of a new framework at #phptek. Via @…

First #phptek talk: April Wensel talking about dealing with changes

#phptek is off to am auspicious start...

*soapbox from @… about HTTP verbs intensifies* #phptek

. @… doing her best Jeremy Mikola impression at #phptek

Next up for me at #phptek: @… talking about the EXPLAIN command and how it lies to you...and how to use it better.

Time to learn about #PHP Enums! :-P
#phptek

"I threw in the XKCD because why not" - wise presenter words from @… #phptek

Ancient Chinese wisdom. #phptek via Keith Casey

#a11y compliance isn't fully automatable.
For example, substituting comparable navigation modes if the normal ones aren't necessarily accessible, or using multiple modes to differentiate controls (e.g. size or shape in addition to color)
- Paulo Fernandes #phptek

Senior leaders of the #PHP community, being very professional. #phptek

Time to find out what the seven deadly sins of database design are thanks to @… at #phptek

"You can do a lot of messed up things in #PHP." via Andy Snell
#phptek

Second talk I'm attending at #phptek: Keith Casey talking design patterns In The Cloud

When complex things become easier, it opens up new possibilities. #phptek

Lock records via database transactions for as short a time as possible. Transactions do time out. - @… #phptek

Tim's hand is contained. Or the sock puppet is a container. One of the two... #phptek

Track your data as you grow to make sure the assumptions you made early on...and the access you granted...still hold. - @… #phptek

Uh oh. Andy Snell found a loophole in #PHP Enums. @… should we care? :-)
#phptek

Put business logic in your SDK. Don't just wrap curl. And have very clear and in-depth testing because those tests document what the API is supposed to do. - @… #phptek

"I'm here to tell you young whippersnappers about design patterns." @…
Looking around the room, I don't think anyone in the room qualifies as a whippersnapper... Sadly.
#phptek

Use Value Objects rather than massive $options arrays when exposing an interface for configuring requests made by your SDK, because you want to make your SDK code as self-documenting as possible. - @… #phptek

"Code that reads data should not write data, and code that writes data should not read data." - #cqrs in a nutshell. Via @….
#phptek

The #PHPTek travel posts are upon us. Meanwhile, it's four hours before I head to the airport.
Should hit the conference hotel 7p-ish; staying at the Sonesta next door this time around.

Now it's time to talk supply chain security with @… at #phptek

Vendoring isn't the solution to dependency security - @… #phptek

Alrighty, anyone who is *not* a speaker have #phptek dinner plans tonight around, say, 7pm?

MySQL 8.0.25 or so and above allows indexes of a, b, c to work with queries with WHERE on a and c only. This is pretty new. - @… #phptek

Pluses and minuses from a security perspective for @… from @… himself at #phptek

If you want actual query costs rather than just SWAGs, use EXPLAIN ANALYZE, which runs your query, rather than EXPLAIN, where it doesn't. - @… #phptek

You can tell the database to collect stats and improve the decisions the query planner makes with the ANALYZE TABLE statement, using e.g. the histogram method. - @… #phptek
More info for MySQL:

On the plane with @… AUS-ORD for #phptek. See y'all in, like, 3.5 hours!

Speaking of cutovers, planning on merging the PHP 8.2 upgrade PR for Joind.in's API over lunch today. That PR also includes a *lot* of type enforcement that wasn't there before, so I expect stuff to break. Plan is to have things fixed by the time folks want to throw #phptek feedback in for the last session of the day.
Want to help triage/clean up? Find me at the conference, or hop in Sl…

Proposal for a conference talk: How to configure #PHPStorm and all its tooling extensions (xdebug, phpstan, php-cs-fixer, etc.) to use a docker container consistently.
That could easily fill a tutorial...
#PHP #PHPTek