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@stiefkind@mastodon.social
2026-06-28 09:06:35

Hat denn schon jemand aus der Regierung oder dem Bundestag laut darüber nachgedacht, Regentänze einzuführen? Oder klatschen wir einfach täglich um 17h auf dem Balkon für Regen? #sarcasm #klimakatastrophe

@stiefkind@mastodon.social
2026-06-27 20:24:41

Voraussichtlich am Dienstag hat der Bundestag die Hitze dann erstmal ausgesessen und kann sich wieder den wichtigen Dingen widmen. #sarcasm

@harrysentonbury@social.linux.pizza
2026-08-22 09:27:34

they should make IOT scissors.
you have to download the app and pay a weekly subscription to to use them.
think of the children.
this will help stop terrorists.
👆 sarcasm. ⬆️ #sarcasm

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-08 16:40:28

The ceasefire is in effect between attacks. Like buses ply nonstop between stops. 🫤
#sarcasm #ceasefire #comparison

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-30 11:03:20

CNN: Track vessels in the Strait of Hormuz. 🛳️
Me: Why, is my Amazon package on one of those vessels? 😏
#sarcasm #headlines #CNN #hormuz

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-07-26 13:47:06

Big bank: All our representatives are assisting other customers.
Number of representatives: One
🙄
#CustomerService #sarcasm

@ubuntourist@mastodon.social
2026-08-29 12:48:38

Worth a watch. A short video protesting the enshitification of government.
#Resist #protest #ArtificialIntelligence #AI #DueProcess #wit #sarcasm

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-08-31 22:30:04

Who did the prediction markets have as the first person to get lifetime ban from prediction markets, and did George Santos make money on that bet? 🤔
#Kalshi #Santos #predictionMarkets #sarcasm

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-08-24 03:31:12

All the "important" people are busy being busy. 🙂‍↔️
#sarcasm #society

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-14 06:03:58

"in counties where more than 90% of residents had early smartphone access, the fertility rate fell significantly more "
C'mon, stop being coy. Just say Fairfield County, Connecticut. 🫤
#sarcasm #wealth #research #fertility

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-27 14:01:35

Amazon: Ask Rufus or search reviews and Q&A
Me: Rufus? More like dufus, amirite? 😏
#Amazon #Rufus #AI #LLM #sarcasm

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-07-09 01:51:10

Looksmaxxing. Looks more like Stupidmaxxing. 😏
#sarcasm #looksmaxxing #stupid

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-08-03 06:45:34

Sure buddy. I'll wait for up to *30 minutes* for this *digital payment* to complete. 🙄
#sarcasm #technology #payments

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-07 15:57:20

Is it even a documentary, if Ken Burns did not make it? 🤔 🎥
(legit question even without the second clause)
#misnomer #marketing #documentary #cpp #cPlusPlus #sarcasm #joke

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-06-22 17:03:42

#Obit: Alan Greenspan kept interest rates too low for too long which significantly contributed to the housing bubble. He did have that great line about "irrational exuberance" of markets, though the man loved the stock market. Like, a lot.
#obituary #sarcasm #harsh #truth #Greenspan

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-07-10 02:30:51

“I’m on whatever list. I saw this morning I’m on every single one of their lists."
Even on their grocery list? 😏
#Iran #Israel #war #sarcasm #lists

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-07-13 02:33:14

Major media outlets tripping and falling over themselves to bring you this hard-hitting journalism:
#CNN #Zara #fashion #pun #journalism #sarcasm

@smurthys@hachyderm.io
2026-07-07 04:05:39

"I've won three titles for Portugal; before ‌Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal hadn't won a single title."
- Christiano Ronaldo
Sportsmen are the most humble bunch. Emphasis on men. 😏
#Ronaldo #WorldCup #Portugal #humility #sarcasm