Tootfinder

omg. Too soon, #TheOnion. TOO SOON!
#NYC #Snowmageddon

I wonder if the Cancer-sniffing Leopard is related to the Face-eating Leopard.
BTW: The Onion is undefeated.
#humor #theonion

This kind of thing makes opening my inbox worth it
#TheOnion

Fuck yes
#infowars #theonion

InfoWars
Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing…

#TheOnion

Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They Are
WASHINGTON—In a heated exchange that laid bare a growing schism at the highest levels of Republican leadership, President Donald Trump and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) reportedly clashed in the Oval Office Thursday over the question of where they were, with McConnell insisting they were at church and Trump maintaining with increasing irritation that they were […]

oof #TheOnion https://theonion.com/state-department-issues-travel-warning-for-women-vacationing-with-husbands/

State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands
WASHINGTON—In an effort to call attention to a potentially life-threatening hazard, the State Department issued a travel warning Thursday for all women considering taking a vacation with their husbands. “While we aren’t yet expressly banning women from traveling with their husbands, we’re emphatically urging them to use extreme caution if they feel they must take […]