Tootfinder

So I've found my answer after maybe ~30 minutes of effort. First stop was the first search result on Startpage (https://millennialhawk.com/does-poop-have-calories/), which has some evidence of maybe-AI authorship but which is better than a lot of slop. It actually has real links & cites research, so I'll start by looking at the sources.
It claims near the top that poop contains 4.91 kcal per gram (note: 1 kcal = 1 Calorie = 1000 calories, which fact I could find/do trust despite the slop in that search). Now obviously, without a range or mention of an average, this isn't the whole picture, but maybe it's an average to start from? However, the citation link is to a study (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32235930/) which only included 27 people with impaired glucose tolerance and obesity. Might have the cited stat, but it's definitely not a broadly representative one if this is the source. The public abstract does not include the stat cited, and I don't want to pay for the article. I happen to be affiliated with a university library, so I could see if I have access that way, but it's a pain to do and not worth it for this study that I know is too specific. Also most people wouldn't have access that way.
Side note: this doing-the-research protect has the nice benefit of letting you see lots of cool stuff you wouldn't have otherwise. The abstract of this study is pretty cool and I learned a bit about gut microbiome changes from just reading the abstract.
My next move was to look among citations in this article to see if I could find something about calorie content of poop specifically. Luckily the article page had indicators for which citations were free to access. I ended up reading/skimming 2 more articles (a few more interesting facts about gut microbiomes were learned) before finding this article whose introduction has what I'm looking for: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3127503/
Here's the relevant paragraph:
"""
The alteration of the energy-balance equation, which is defined by the equilibrium of energy intake and energy expenditure (1–5), leads to weight gain. One less-extensively-studied component of the energy-balance equation is energy loss in stools and urine. Previous studies of healthy adults showed that ≈5% of ingested calories were lost in stools and urine (6). Individuals who consume high-fiber diets exhibit a higher fecal energy loss than individuals who consume low-fiber diets with an equivalent energy content (7, 8). Webb and Annis (9) studied stool energy loss in 4 lean and 4 obese individuals and showed a tendency to lower the fecal energy excretion in obese compared with lean study participants.
"""
And there's a good-enough answer if we do some math, along with links to more in-depth reading if we want them. A Mayo clinic calorie calculator suggests about 2250 Calories per day for me to maintain my weight, I think there's probably a lot of variation in that number, but 5% of that would be very roughly 100 Calories lost in poop per day, so maybe an extremely rough estimate for a range of humans might be 50-200 Calories per day. Interestingly, one of the AI slop pages I found asserted (without citation) 100-200 Calories per day, which kinda checks out. I had no way to trust that number though, and as we saw with the provenance of the 4.91 kcal/gram, it might not be good provenance.
To double-check, I visited this link from the paragraph above: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022316622169853?via=ihub
It's only a 6-person study, but just the abstract has numbers: ~250 kcal/day pooped on a low-fiber diet vs. ~400 kcal/day pooped on a high-fiber diet. That's with intakes of ~2100 and ~2350 kcal respectively, which is close to the number from which I estimated 100 kcal above, so maybe the first estimate from just the 5% number was a bit low.
Glad those numbers were in the abstract, since the full text is paywalled... It's possible this study was also done on some atypical patient group...
Just to come full circle, let's look at that 4.91 kcal/gram number again. A search suggests 14-16 ounces of poop per day is typical, with at least two sources around 14 ounces, or ~400 grams. (AI slop was strong here too, with one including a completely made up table of "studies" that was summarized as 100-200 grams/day). If we believe 400 grams/day of poop, then 4.91 kcal/gram would be almost 2000 kcal/day, which is very clearly ludicrous! So that number was likely some unrelated statistic regurgitated by the AI. I found that number in at least 3 of the slop pages I waded through in my initial search.

Wer braucht schon Reality-TV, wenn man Musk und Trump auf Social Media hat? 🫠
Dort liefern sich die beiden einen heftigen Schlagabtausch, der sich direkt auf den Aktienkurs von Tesla auswirkt.
Zum Artikel: https://heise.de/-10435168?wt_mc=sm.…

Ich weiß, was du letztes Wochenende getan hast.
Beziehungsweise ich. #LouderThanKarl
#festival
https://youtube.com/shorts/axy…

We stayed at #TheSocialHub #Florence.
It was one of the better #hotel experiences here in Italy. The young vibe as well as the services offered are really cool. Price was very competitive. I'll defini…

#CarsAndCoffee Seaside this morning. Two nice upgraded bugs and a very rare Alfa Zagato Junior. #WeirdCarMastodon

I finally got rid of the old bed I’d kept since moving in, so the room feels pretty empty right now.
I’m in the process of reorganizing everything and plan to turn this space into my own anarchist sanctuary.
Soon, I’ll add a bookshelf and more anarchist art to the wall, right next to the communist hammer and sickle symbol.
#Declutter

Eigenlijk was dat best Eem lekker besturingssysteem... 😀
"Aangezien XP geen backdoors heeft mbt persoonlijke data wordt het gezien als safe."
En als de Russen die Amerikaanse software veilig genoeg vinden voor zichzelf, zal dat dus ook wel kloppen.
#Microsoft #Rusland

"Resident Evil 9: Requiem" für 2026 angekündigt
Der neunte Haupt-Teil von "Resident Evil" heißt "Requiem" – und kommt schon im Februar. Publisher Capcom hat einen ersten Trailer veröffentlicht.

Neue VR-Spiele im Juni 2025: "Zombie Army VR"
Im Juni bringt Rebellion mit "Zombie Army VR" eine altbekannte Reihe in die Virtual Reality. Zusätzlich erscheinen "Cave Crave" und "Maestro".

#TGIQF: Das EXPO-2000-Quiz
Vor 25 Jahren begann in Hannover die bisher einzige Weltausstellung in Deutschland – Sie war bunt und riesig. Wir erinnern mit einem Quiz. Machen Sie mit!