Tootfinder

After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.

FPF on the Securing and Establishing Consumer Uniform Rights and Enforcement Over Data (“SECURE Data”) Act
https://fpf.org/press-releases/fpf-on-the-securing-and-establishing-consumer-uniform-rights-and-enf…

Weekend Reads
* IRR data quality
https://labs.ripe.net/author/tobias-striffler/the-irr-landscape-data-quality-the-good-the-bad-and-the-outdated/
* Roy Arends on DNSSEC

The IRR Landscape: Data Quality - the Good, the Bad, and the Outdated
In the second of our IRR landscape series, we focus squarely on data quality: how accurate, current, and usable IRR routing data really is. Using freshness, DFZ alignment and RPKI conflicts, we spotlight where third-party IRRs drift and why cleanup matters.

The discussion around "age verification" in systemd/XDG has been largely focused against the California law. But honestly, there's a much deeper problem there.
Firstly, the data collected. The question initially asked is "are you at least 18 years old?" However, that's not the data collected. In fact, the data collected is not even the age — it's the full birth date. It's a perfect example of collecting more data than you need, and a sensitive information too, and sharing it with any application that asks.
Secondly, the extended goal of "parental controls" used as a justification to collect more data. When you think about it, you realize how bad this is: it isn't the case of asking the user about their birth date (with the assumption that a kid will enter a fake date to workaround the limitations). It is effectively a tool for *parents* to impose restrictions on their children, which means that they are more likely to enter the real date to ensure that these restrictions work. And given how popular sharenting is today, do you really think they'd come up with a fake birth date that happens to roughly match their child's age?
This is simply irresponsible.
https://github.com/flatpak/xdg-desktop-portal/pull/1922

🥳 New Kitten¹ release
• Added `initialise()` hook to `kitten.Component` instances.
This gets called at the end of the constructor and is handy if you don’t want to override the constructor and have to handle the `data` parameter and remember to call `super(data)`. You can still access passed data from `this.data`.

Note that the component is not part of the view hierarchy on the client at this point. If you have tasks you need to perform only once per page – for example, ins…

app/CHANGELOG.md at main
app - A web development kit that’s small, purrs, and loves you.

According to Mandiant's latest threat data, the median time between an initial access event and the hand-off to a secondary threat group dropped from more than 8 hours in 2022 to only 22 seconds in 2025.
Check out my latest CSO report for more insights on how attacker dwell time rose, voice phishing topped email phishing, and threat actors increasingly targeted backup and identity systems.
Faster attacks and ‘recovery denial’ ransomware reshape threat landscape

Faster attacks and ‘recovery denial’ ransomware reshape threat landscape
In 2025, attacker dwell time rose, voice phishing topped email phishing, and threat actors increasingly targeted backup and identity systems, according to Mandiant’s latest incident response data.

„The European Commission incorporated a secrecy provision drafted by Microsoft and tech lobby group DigitalEurope into European Union law, blocking public access to critical information on data centers' environmental impact“
https://www.techpolicy.press/how-big-tech-…

Amazon plans to invest $12B in new data centers in Louisiana and says it worked with the local utility "to ensure we pay 100% of the costs" tied to the campus (Annie Palmer/CNBC)
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/02/23/amazon-louisiana-ai-data-centers.html

Amazon to spend $12 billion in Louisiana on AI data centers
The project comes as Amazon has committed up to $200 billion this year on AI investments, which include data centers, chips and networking equipment.

Getting serious about data breaches in Kazakhstan
January 23: Kazakhstan Moves to Criminalize Mass Data Breaches
https://meyka.com/blog/january-23-kazakhstan-moves-to-criminalize-mass-data-breaches-2301/

January 23: Kazakhstan Moves to Criminalize Mass Data Breaches | Meyka
Australia-focused take on Kazakhstan data breach law, criminal penalties and $42,500 fines, risks for banks and fintechs, and clear compliance steps for investors.

Turkey launches a review of how social media platforms handle children's data as it prepares new rules that include identity verification and age restrictions (Turkish Minute)
https://www.turkishminute.com/2026/02/21/turkey…

Turkey reviews major social media platforms' handling of children’s data - Turkish Minute
Turkey’s data protection watchdog has opened a review of how six major social media platforms process children’s personal data, as Ankara prepares separate legislation that would tighten state control over online accounts and content.