Tootfinder

After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.

What @… says is what a lot of us have been lamenting since the ICE invasion started. Shouldn’t local police protect citizens from ICE?? Why this hasn’t happened is a really good question. Factors to consider:
- “Obstructing a federal agent” is illegal, and local police / politicians feel constrained by that (even if the agents themselves don’t seem constrained by the actual law at all, only by what they think they can get away with)
- Police can in theory cite federal agents for e.g. traffic violations or illegal plate swapping after the fact, as long as they’re not “obstructing” the agents — but how do you cite a masked person with fake plates who refuses to give ID?
- Some police are visibly supportive of ICE, chumming it up with them and giving literal fist bumps; a nontrivial subset are outright closet Nazis. A lot of people don’t really see any need to go past “ACAB” as a full explanation for all of this — and certainly The ACAB Hypothesis is…um, not really being proved false right now in Minneapolis.
- I think some police quietly resent ICE for stepping on their turf, but that does not seem to have boiled up into actual confrontation in MSP. One police leader here painted it in early Dec as “some people want to instigate a confrontation between Minneapolis Police, and that’s not going to happen.” Police culture says that police should be a neutral party in a dispute between ICE and residents, and actually protecting residents would be taking sides. (Duh, yes, taking sides that way is your literal job, you dumbasses…but I digress.)
- Some police (especially leadership) really want to get on the community’s good side after the murder of George Floyd, and see this as an opportunity, but unfortunately this has materialized entirely as non-interventionist support: “We responded to a 911 call and help a distressed resident after her husband was abducted!” “We transported children left parentless on the streets by ICE safely back to their home!” “Our officers volunteered at the food shelf!” OK, nice, good for you buddy.
So yeah, I’m wondering this too, and am bitter about it. https://tilde.zone/@n1xnx/115928447564126393

A U.S. appeals court has cleared the way for a Louisiana law requiring poster-sized displays of the Ten Commandments in public school classrooms to take effect
The six judges who voted against the decision wrote a series of dissents,
with some arguing that the law exposes children to government-endorsed religion in a place they are required to be,
presenting a clear constitutional burden
Circuit Judge James L. Dennis, an appointee of Democratic President Bill Clinton,…

Court clears way for Louisiana law requiring Ten Commandments in classrooms to take effect
The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has cleared the way for a Louisiana law requiring displays of the Ten Commandments in public classrooms to take effect. The full court voted 12-6 to lift a block placed on the law that a lower court first issued in 2024. In the opinion released Friday, the court said it was too early to make a judgment call on the constitutionality of the law. But the six judges who voted against the decision wrote a series of dissents, some saying that the law exposes chil…

We watched the Joker ironically and then went on YouTube to watch whatever people made about the movie there back in the day, landed in the worst slop bubble, and dug so deep until we hit “JOKER QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN” and these videos could be classified as performance art, they're pure gold

The Conceit of the Clock: Aristotle, Time, and the Hunger That Devours Us
Aristotle opens his investigation of time in Book IV of the Physics with a question so destabilizing it threatens to collapse the inquiry before it begins: does time even exist? His reasoning is not coy. The past has ceased to be. The future has not yet arrived. The present, the "now," is not a duration but a limit, a dimensionless boundary between what was and what will be.

The Conceit of the Clock: Aristotle, Time, and the Hunger That Devours Us | David Boles, Blogs
Aristotle opens his investigation of time in Book IV of the Physics with a question so destabilizing it threatens to collapse the inquiry before it begins: does time even exist? His reasoning is no…

OK, so apparently I shouldn’t have said “beyond the obvious,” and the obvious needs stating:
(1) Copyright licenses very clearly •do• allow the copyright holder to determine who may use a work and for what purposes, at least when such use would be otherwise prohibited without a license. That is how the law works. Rightly or wrongly, empires are built on this: “Streaming service XYZ may offer this song for streaming but not for download until this date.” Copyleft is one example of this principle in action.
(1a) Thing the thing presents discriminatory licensing (such as in Daniel’s strawmen) is anti-discrimination law, not copyright law.
(2) The reason copyleft specifically might prevent LLM usage is that •if• LLM output can be considered a derived work of the training material, then the output must also be licensed in the same way. That seems to me a thin reed: courts so far haven’t been willing to treat LLM output as derived work, even when the output includes things that would surely be considered plagiarism and grossly illegal if done by a human. But I don’t see another path to protection, and courts are still sorting this out…so.
https://mastodon.sdf.org/@dlakelan/116267990581623218

Experts are calling it “the worst voter suppression bill ever seriously considered by Congress.”
As the U.S. Senate prepares to vote on a Trump-backed voter ID bill known as the SAVE Act,
millions of citizens who lack easy access to its required forms of documentation are now at risk of disenfranchisement.
“Republicans are singularly focused on making it harder to vote and pursuing this MAGA fever dream,”
explains Ari Berman, national voting rights correspondent for …

Disenfranchise Tens of Millions? Trump’s SAVE Act Targets Women, Poor, Rural & Trans Voters
Experts are calling it “the worst voter suppression bill ever seriously considered by Congress.” As the U.S. Senate prepares to vote on a Trump-backed voter ID bill known as the SAVE Act, millions of citizens who lack easy access to its required forms of documentation are now at risk of disenfranchisement. “Republicans are singularly focused on making it harder to vote and pursuing this MAGA fever dream,” explains Ari Berman, national voting rights correspondent for Mother Jones. “It …

The Pentagon plans to cut its participation in elements of NATO’s force structure
and a range of the alliance’s advisory groups,
-- the latest sign of the Trump administration’s drive to scale back the U.S. military presence in Europe,
according to multiple officials familiar with the matter.

The impending move will affect about 200 military personnel
and diminish U.S. involvement in nearly 30 NATO organizations,
including its "Centers of Excellence&…

Pentagon moves to cut U.S. participation in some NATO advisory groups
The planned exit marks the Trump administration’s latest move to scale back Washington’s military investment in Europe’s defense.

If the "SAVE act" passes most people registering to vote would have to present documents in person at an elections office, including people who vote by mail.
Advocacy groups that oppose the legislation say that the bill would crush voter registration efforts ahead of this year’s elections.
The bill would create new penalties for election officials who register applicants who have not presented documentary proof of citizenship.
Opponents say that provision could pot…

What’s in the Voting Bill That Republicans Are Pushing to the Senate Floor
Legislation that would force voters to prove they are U.S. citizens is being debated on the Senate floor this week.

As the war in Iran enters its fourth week, attacks on the region’s energy infrastructure are disrupting the economy around the world.
The price of oil reached nearly $120 a barrel, up from around $80 just a little more than a week ago.
International shipping through the Strait of Hormuz is effectively closed.
And the local economies of Persian Gulf countries, including the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia, continue to come under direct attack.
Why does the U.S. g…

Investors Are in Denial About the Economic Impact of the Iran War
The damage to energy infrastructure in the Gulf will have enduring impact.