2026-01-23 05:19:49
After the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.
It's Saturday morning, and time for Metacurity's weekly round-up of the best infosec-related long reads we couldn't get to during the daily crush of news.
This week's selection covers
--Industrialized scam compounds pull out all the stops to impersonate police,
--How Switzerland's SCION aims to replace BGP,
--Grassroots local resistance to Flock surveillance is growing,
--Existing law is inadequate to govern commercial spyware,
--Russia…
Filing: Tron founder Justin Sun sues the Trump family's World Liberty Financial, alleging it unfairly locked up his WLFI holdings and threatened and defamed him (CoinDesk)
https://www.coindesk.com/policy/2026/04/21…
Of course it's gonna be privileged kids doing more activism! It's the fact they use their privilege, “pass the mic”, and fight for a world where their circumstances aren't a privilege but a right, that's what matters.
When conservatives point out the privilege of their political rivals, it's never to actually criticize a hierarchical society, but rather an expression of the wish that their opponents had as little of a voice as the groups they marginalize.
⭐ Starred a repositorykeepandroidopen/keepandroidopen.github.io
Fighting against Google's 2025 developer verification mandate
github.com/keepandroidopen/keepandroidopen.github.io
Trump threats, U.S. troop build-up raise specter of battle for Hormuz
A surge of additional U.S. forces to the Middle East and Donald Trump’s threat to “obliterate” Iran’s energy infrastructure
have set the stage for what U.S. and Israeli security officials increasingly see as the war’s dramatic escalation:
a battle for control of the Strait of Hormuz and key energy installations.
A contingent of 4,500 U.S. sailors and Marines is heading to the Middle East,
inc…
Saquon Barkley 'super excited' to work with new Eagles OC Sean Mannion: 'It's refreshing' https://www.nfl.com/news/saquon-barkley-super-excited-to-work-with-new-eagles-oc-sean-mannion-it-s-refreshing
I am so ashamed my nation would do this to our friends who helped us at great risk to themselves and their families. It is a stain on the soul of the US.
"'They had the expectation that within weeks they’d be relocated to the U.S.," said Rina Amiri, a former senior diplomat working on Afghan human rights issues. 'Who is going to fight alongside the U.S. when the U.S. betrays the people who stood alongside us?'"
S-toppen Lawen Redar vill riva sig till integration: ”Jag kommer hit och tänker: fysisk omdaning är möjlig och den är bra”, säger hon när vi går runt i en utsatt fransk förort där höghus just rivs. https://www.dn.se/varlden/s-toppen-vill-ri
«FREE SPIRITS» de la dupla CA7RIEL & Paco Amoroso, (para mi gusto) uno de los mšs interesante proyectos de la música urbana actual. Incluye colaboraciones con Jack Black y Sting.
Por supuesto que esto va mucho mšs allš de lo urbano y eso lo pone en la parte alta del género.
https://album.link/s/2lbCB2zwGvqqn7IkR
"We're just going to run a physical simulation of a human brain to achieve AGI"
"Won't the brain die instantly if it's without a body and oxygen supply etc?"
"Well, we'll just also simulate a body."
"Won't the body die instantly if it's in a vacuum?
"Fine, we'll just simulate an atmosphere too."
"Won't the body die if it's without food and light and gravity and stimulation?"
"Fine, we'll just simulate all the physical processes on the Earth."
"Won't the Earth just freeze instantly without the Sun being there?"
"Fine, we'll just simulate the sun, too."
"Will the solar system work properly if there's only the sun? What about gravitational influences of other mass in the galaxy, what about cosmic rays?"
"Fine, we'll just simulate the whole universe, too."
New book “How to sell a genocide”is out today. Adam says “a data-driven account of mainstream media’s role in creating the conditions of mass death in Gaza.”
all profits go toward mecaforpeace.org:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0745351654?
The discussion around "age verification" in systemd/XDG has been largely focused against the California law. But honestly, there's a much deeper problem there.
Firstly, the data collected. The question initially asked is "are you at least 18 years old?" However, that's not the data collected. In fact, the data collected is not even the age — it's the full birth date. It's a perfect example of collecting more data than you need, and a sensitive information too, and sharing it with any application that asks.
Secondly, the extended goal of "parental controls" used as a justification to collect more data. When you think about it, you realize how bad this is: it isn't the case of asking the user about their birth date (with the assumption that a kid will enter a fake date to workaround the limitations). It is effectively a tool for *parents* to impose restrictions on their children, which means that they are more likely to enter the real date to ensure that these restrictions work. And given how popular sharenting is today, do you really think they'd come up with a fake birth date that happens to roughly match their child's age?
This is simply irresponsible.
https://github.com/flatpak/xdg-desktop-portal/pull/1922
"there's no ‘great hospital boat’ coming to Greenland because both U.S. hospital ships – the USNS Mercy and the USNS Comfort – are currently incapacitated, undergoing maintenance."
Critics say Trump's 'frankly unreal' Greenland post shows he's 'suffering from dementia' - Raw Story
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-2675291961/
Source: the TikTok US deal values it at just around $14B; TikTok's US entity makes roughly $14B annually in advertising revenues alone, per analyst estimates (Sara Fischer/Axios)
https://www.axios.com/2026/01/23/tiktok-deal-trump-app-ban
Series D, Episode 04 - Stardrive
VILA: Not so, my lovely. I can be disgusting all the time. It's easy. Easy as colliding with an asteroid, eh, Avon? [Avon's head comes up.] You know, they say all your life passes in front of you when you're about to, about to... y'know. It's what's happening to me now. All my past life....
AVON: That's one misfortune we don't have to share.
U.S. Blocks Iraq's Dollar Shipments to Squeeze Its Iran-Backed Militias (Wall Street Journal)
https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/u-s-blocks-iraqs-dollar-shipments-to-squeeze-its-iran-backed-militias-3270d5af
http://www.memeorandum.com/260422/p48#a260422p48
Now Trump wants to send ICE agents into airports to work in place of TSA security. The tear gas and head smashing should make for great TV and distract from the fact that he's hiding what's really in the Epstein files.
Welcome to Computing's weekly roundup of tech news in Asia. This time we look at Taiwanese attempts to charm the mercurial US administration, an Indian regulator’s ongoing attempts to juice Apple and Jensen on his travels.
https://www.computing.co.uk/news/2026/chip
Lit-dropped Noe Valley in defense of Prop I and got a solid workout 😅 This is how we're gonna win and preserve funding for social housing. #sfpol
- If you live in SF and haven't sent a letter yet: https://dsasf.org/protectpropi
Source: Mira Murati's TML signed a deal with Google Cloud, valued in single-digit billions, to access Google's latest AI systems built on Nvidia's GB300 chips (Rebecca Bellan/TechCrunch)
https://techcrunch.com/2026/04/22/excl
The cover of this week's edition of Science..
The details say it all - everything that Trump's shadow touches is broken.
https://www.science.org/
Let's do what we can to preserve science (which is an international endeavour) and support our US colleagues until the US gets rid of Trump!
Possible Pick: Colton Hood's best football could still lie ahead https://www.dallascowboys.com/news/possible-pick-colton-hood-s-best-football-could-still-lie-ahead
Ultimate argument for a VPN & #pihole
My wife recently mentioned that she get's considerably less ads in her games when she's on the wifi than when she's on 5G (without VPN). And suddenly the VPN got ways more interesting.
🔊 #NowPlaying on #BBCRadio3:
#ThroughTheNight
- Debussy, Hindemith and Rameau from Oslo
Thorsten Johanns joins the Norwegian Radio Orchestra in Hindemith's Clarinet Concerto. Later, an arrangement of Debussy's 'Children's Corner' and Rameau's Suite from 'Naïs'.
Relisten now 👇
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002typg
David Ellison is "business casual" Frankenstein's Monster. 🤣
▶️ Trump's Tariff Tantrum! Netflix Too Woke? Stephen Colbert's FCC Drama! | Have I Got News For You
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0lWWuinJrko&si=3Grul4-obN6SGCaU
The Department of Homeland Security is suspending frequent flier and quick-processing programs for travelers at airports and U.S. border crossings starting Sunday, a DHS official confirmed.
The programs include the Transportation Security Administration's TSA PreCheck,
which allows vetted passengers to forgo customary security check-in lines for quicker passage,
as well as U.S. Customs and Border Protection's Global Entry,
which offers similarly rapid check-in…
Browns LB Carson Schwesinger echoing Todd Monken’s message for Cleveland’s defense: ‘I don't expect there to be a lot of changes’ https://www.nfl.com/news/carson-schwesinger-echoing-todd-monken-s-message-for-cleveland-s-defense
France's National Museum of Natural History is struggling with a cyberattack that originated from "a major, undemocratic country."
https://www.lemonde.fr/en/environment/arti
Anthropic's data shows software engineering accounts for ~50% of its AI agent tool calls; the remaining verticals are greenfields most founders are overlooking (Garry Tan/Garry's List)
https://garryslist.org/posts/half-the-ai-agent-market-i…
Just in case your garden suffers from a vampire infestation....
https://www.lowes.com/pd/Just-Scentsational-Garlic-Scentry-64-fl-oz-Pest-Repellent/1000015949
It's useful to have your own toilet paper on you:
• in the woods
• in the train, in case there's no toilet paper
• in the train, in case the paper's in some stupid anti-theft container and it's practically impossible to find the end and unroll it through the tiny gap
#shitposting
Security Alert - Update: Ongoing Security Operations - U.S. Mission Mexico (February 22, 2026) (U.S. Embassy & Consulates in Mexico)
https://mx.usembassy.gov/security-alert-update-ongoing-security-operations-u-s-mission-mexico-february-22-2026/
http://www.memeorandum.com/260223/p1#a260223p1
Otro regreso en poco tiempo y tras un muy buen disco. Los hermanos Robinson publicaron hace pocos días «A Pound of Feathers. Otro buen disco de The Black Crowes.
https://album.link/s/417zi1WN5yAK4u3VOjZh13
Series B, Episode 01 - Redemption
BLAKE: No, that's not likely. Orac's systems are entirely independent of all the Liberator's.
AVON: [Crouches next to Orac's stand] Now then, Orac. Are you going to function or are you not?
https://blake.torpidity.net/m/201/333 B7B2
Possible Pick: Colton Hood's best football could still lie ahead https://www.dallascowboys.com/news/possible-pick-colton-hood-s-best-football-could-still-lie-ahead
Sources: DOJ's review of Netflix's WBD takeover examines whether Netflix wields anticompetitive leverage over creators in violation of Clayton and Sherman Acts (Josh Sisco/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20
A Western Sydney council, Fairfield City, has been completely pwned by ransomware. It has been granted an injunction to stop people publishing stolen data, as well as a suppression order over details, including the council's communications with the hackers.
https://
It's a hacky way to end the story. Garbage and trite, but that's not the point. The point is that the system prompt explicitly says to give back the original text with improvements. Instead it finished the story from the end.
Why? Because I injected into the conversation and made it "think" that *it* had written the story and was finishing it.
That variant of the story used <start_of_turn> and <end_of_turn> (the model's tokens) instead of <|im_start|>/<|im_end|> which are (if I'm not mistaken) ChatGPT tokens.
And here's the tech industry's greatest revolutionary inventions
1980s: personal computers
1990s: the Internet
2000s: supercomputers in your pocket
2010s: fake money
2020s: vibe palaver
New York's Mayor Mamdani orders citywide travel ban as major storm hits US
https://www.lemonde.fr/en/climate/article/2026/02/23/new-york-s-mayor-mamdani-orders-citywide-travel-ban-as-major-storm-hits-us_6750769_96.html
Strapped in for a 14-hour flight from San Francisco to Taipei. Tomorrow will be brief as I hop the international date line to land Saturday. Butt is gonna hurt.
The devastating toll of Iran’s counterattack on U.S. service members after Donald Trump’s surprise strikes on Iran is even more severe than previously known.
A deadly attack that killed six U.S. service members has also left dozens of others suffering from traumatic brain injuries,
memory loss,
and other “urgent” health issues
at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany,
the largest U.S. military hospital abroad,
CBS News reported Wednesday.
As o…
Source: the TikTok US deal values it at just around $14B; TikTok's US entity makes roughly $14B annually in advertising revenues alone, per analyst estimates (Sara Fischer/Axios)
https://www.axios.com/2026/01/23/tiktok-deal-trump-app-ban
Volvamos a los estrenos musicales.
Kim Gordon vuelve como solista después del tremendo The Collective (2024) con un disco que parece continuar el mismo camino, pero sin perder originalidad. Muy buen trabajo de la ex Sonic Youth.
«PLAY ME»
https://album.link/s/04tCM2W8CvOXQBy4bBHlXk
Series B, Episode 02 - Shadow
ENFORCER: She's not your agent.
LARGO: Ohh, but she is. That dreamhead is going to tell us exactly where Blake and his friends decide to go.
[Flight deck of the Liberator. A small ball of shadow is in Zen's analysis dome]
https://blake.torpidity.net/m/202/377
In a strongly worded decision this week, a federal judge ordered that the Voice of America
— its mission to provide news for countries around the world largely shut down for the past year by the Trump administration
— come roaring back to life.
Whether or not that actually happens is anybody’s guess.
The government filed notice Thursday to appeal U.S. District Court Judge Royce C. Lamberth’s order two days earlier to put hundreds of VOA employees who have been on paid l…
Agent's Take: Did the Browns modify Myles Garrett's contract to facilitate trading their star defender?
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/browns-modify-myles-garrett-contr…
Reality Labs lost $80B , but it still makes all of Meta's hardware, and reflects Mark Zuckerberg's desire to run a business without Google or Apple as middlemen (Peter Kafka/Business Insider)
https://www.businessinsider.com/meta-mark-zuckerber…
Since December 2025, print media companies in France have cut nearly 1,000 jobs; Trendeo: since 2009, 10.5K jobs have disappeared from the sector in France (Brice Laemle/Le Monde)
https://www.lemonde.fr/en/economy/article/
Trump and company sure are putting a lot of effort into protecting the Epstein class from the consequences of their slimy behavior.
Predictably, it turns out that the 21-year-old white male with a shotgun who tried to breach Mar-A-Lago comes from a family of Trumpist magats.
Me acordé que también salio este año un disco de Macha y El Bloque Depresivo: «Bronceado de Cantina». Incluye canciones originales de la banda y covers de otros artistas. Otro šlbum muy bonito, con el sello ya clšsico de este proyecto del Macha.
«Bronceado de Cantina»
https://album.link/s/0vtjEMYlSEV9FkBYg
Sources: Media24, a unit of Naspers that runs some of South Africa's biggest digital news sites, is considering selling or closing historic newspaper City Press (Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-04-22/…
Bucs safety's fiancée helped woman hit by bus https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/48278543/winfield-jr-fiancee-teesa-mpagi-helped-woman-hit-bus
India's AI Summit highlighted the limits of the country's AI ambitions, as the US and its tech companies largely dismissed India's push for global AI governance (Krishn Kaushik/Financial Times)
https://giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/acti…
궁字这么写是不是有点像「子」?
……然后后面再跟一个「宫」……
RT: twitter.com/bi3bxi/status/2035310453245845666
InsideSD, a site run by city government, dominates Google's AI-powered search results about San Diego, making government views the only ones most will see (Claire Trageser/Axios)
https://www.axios.com/local/san-diego/2026
Miller's final NFL mock draft -- with Fowler's latest intel: Projecting 32 first-round picks https://www.espn.com/nfl/draft2026/story/_/id/48542761/2026-nfl-mock-draft-miller-fowler-first-round-32-pi…
Sources: DOJ's review of Netflix's WBD takeover examines whether Netflix wields anticompetitive leverage over creators in violation of Clayton and Sherman Acts (Josh Sisco/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20
Hope I can finish these two fonts by this year.
1. The geometric condensed sans based on PSCTF v2 logotype. Planned to have 4–6 masters: Light–Regular(maybe bold?) × Roman/Oblique
2. An Inter “collage” for a Latin Grotesk style Japanese Kana font.
Source: the FBI investigated NYT reporter Elizabeth Williamson after she wrote about Kash Patel's use of FBI staff for his girlfriend's security (Michael S. Schmidt/New York Times)
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/22/us/…
Tim Cook's increased mentions of Visual Intelligence hint it will be a major part of Apple's new wearables; sources: Apple considers a deep red iPhone 18 Pro (Mark Gurman/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/newsletters
Sensor Tower: India's mobile app IAP revenue crossed $300M in Q1, up 33% YoY, with non-gaming apps generating $200M , much of it captured by global platforms (Jagmeet Singh/TechCrunch)
https://techcrunch.com/2026/04/22/indi
At the NAB show, sole Democratic FCC Commissioner Anna Gomez reiterates her call for broadcasters to challenge the agency's potential unconstitutional overreach (Inside Radio)
https://www.insideradio.com/free/g…
Report: China's 360 Digital Security Group has uncovered ~1,000 previously unknown vulnerabilities, including in Microsoft's Office, using an AI-powered agent (Ryan Gallagher/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20
Trump's Board of Peace is right up there with Trump University and the Trump Foundation.
BAFTA host Alan Cumming thanks the audience for its "understanding" after outbursts from Tourette's campaigner John Davidson that weren't cut from the broadcast (K.J. Yossman/Variety)
https://variety.com/2026/film/awards/alan-cu…
@… Thank you for bringing this up to me, and I’m so sorry about the spam. There was some issues with my automation. I have removed all the posts that weren’t intended to be posted.
Microsoft says Copilot's agentic features in Word, Excel, and PowerPoint are now generally available and enabled by default for 365 Copilot and 365 Premium (Sumit Chauhan/Microsoft 365 Blog)
https://www.microsoft.com/en-u…
Suspending the motor fuel tax might look like a favor to consumers but it's really a political handout to Trump that ultimately will come out of our pockets. Roads don't build and fix themselves.
SiriusXM strikes a deal with Google to make SiriusXM Media the exclusive advertising representative of YouTube's audio inventory in the US, including podcasts (Todd Spangler/Variety)
https://variety.com/2026/digital/news/youtube-siriusxm-…
All-hands: Tim Cook said he's stepping down now to ensure the "best-ever transition," citing strong financials, an "incredible" pipeline, and Ternus' readiness (Mark Gurman/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20
Woah, they’re really into getting public transit better now
seattletransitblog.com/2026/02/20/friday-roundtable-orca-tap-to-pay-begins-on-monday/
Sources: Microsoft considered buying Cursor in recent weeks but didn't make an offer; Microsoft has been working to boost GitHub Copilot's popularity (CNBC)
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/22/microsoft-looked-at-buying-cursor-before-…
Google invests an undisclosed sum in Sakana AI, valued at $2.6B in November 2025, to boost Gemini's presence in Japan; Sakana AI gains access to Google's LLMs (Min-Jeong Lee/Bloomberg)
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/20
Trump says Zelenskyy is hard to deal with.
Yeah, he keeps saying things like ''stop invading my country "
USPS should stop screwing around and make stamps an even dollar. And then actually deliver the mail in a timely fashion.
Trump got his start throwing rocks at his neighbors and hasn't gotten any better.
I wonder where they got such an idea.
https://wapo.st/4v10TeD
Cue the chorus of magats Trumpsplaining that SCOTUS has no authority over tariffs.
So SCOTUS shot down his crazy tariffs. Do I get a refund on my truck tires?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
If there was a downloadable design for a 3D printer to make a moral compass, would anyone in silicon valley make use of it?
Trump is rushing to conjure up some new tariffs to make sure American consumers continue to pay his national sales taxes.