@memeorandum@universeodon.comWhere Left and Right Both Go Wrong on Crime (Keith Humphreys/Washington Monthly)
https://washingtonmonthly.com/2026/03/23/where-left-and-right-both-go-wrong-on-criminal-justice/
http://www.memeorandum.com/260323/p13#a260323p13
@hex@kolektiva.socialThis is actually not too far off from a pamphlet I wrote at my community college as an experiment in "turning assignments into creative writing." I was taking a religion class, so I decided to create one. I was working in a group and by the end we had developed 3 sects of the religion and we each talked about our sect and how it related and differed from the original text.
I also handed out pamphlets at a mall, half as part of a psychology class (because why not find a way to reuse my material) and part as an experiment to see how long it would take to get kicked out of said mall. (The answer was bout 15 minutes, if I remember correctly.)
Somewhere between there and here, the books "The Evolution of God" and "Non-Zero" came out (written, interestingly but probably unrelated, by someone who lived in the town with that mall where I handed out those flyers). These books both have heavily overlapping ideas with the original pamphlet (lost, which may not be the worst thing since it was full of spelling and grammar errors).
But both of those books had a decidedly theistic flavor, though, I think, they were more generally liberal. The whole #CultPunk thing feels like a missing piece to something that's been bouncing around in my head for... uh... some years. But not so much at the front of my mind.
It was actually in the hospital, on pain killers and ketamine, that this all came rushing back. Perhaps that's the right state of mind for such things.
@anildash@me.dm"Mozilla's PR team told me they want to be both the best browser for people who hate AI and the safest browser for people who love AI. " In an article where the plan to win over users is: build a better browser. Well! https://www.pcmag.com/news/firefox-ajit-varma-m…
@aral@mastodon.ar.al
@Techmeme@techhub.socialJury deliberations begin in New Mexico's lawsuit against Meta over children's safety risks, after both sides delivered closing arguments (Morgan Lee/Associated Press)
https://apnews.com/article/meta-trial-child-sexual-exploitation-5ad9…
@mnalis@mastodon.online#CoMaps is #OpenStreetMap based navigation app -- it is an #OrganicMaps fork made so it can be oriented towards community, privacy and
@davidaugust@mastodon.onlineSpeaking of Iran, with both sides continuing to shoot stuff all the time, this might be the shootiest ceasefire ever. No official word yet from the Guinness Book of World Records.
Lines like that and 2 sketches I wrote in the all female cast (this week) of This Week This Week in LA tonight. Like the news, but funny.
Get tix:
@Sustainable2050@mastodon.energyBoth solar and wind power now produce more of the world's electricity than nuclear.
More importantly, they're the growth engines, ready to finally make a dent in the amounts of coal and gas used for electricity. And in the emissions arising from that!
Chart by Dan Schroeder on Bluesky.
@rberger@hachyderm.ioJust like Trump. Both traitors to their nations and Putin’s Puppets https://mstdn.social/@VoltEuropa/116279815175012177
@thomasfuchs@hachyderm.ioRE: https://toot.cat/@plexus/116283016837715719
It should also be noted that beyond the ethical, political and environmental issues with this is that it doesn't work:
1. There is on average no mid to long term productivity gain with actual real-world software development that isn't just a "wow see what it can do" demo. (Multiple studies have shown that now.)
2. It won't help with 90% of the work when professionally making software, which, believe it or not, isn't coding. 90% of the work is designing and planning the software (these are things that happen both upfront and during development).
Maybe you have seen the recent Microsoft thing rolling back features in Windows they added?
E.g. Copilot in Notepad. What they did is essentially outsourcing project management to developers who then outsourced it to LLMs. But an LLMs can't plan and design software, and arguably barely can even generate code that works (as in reliable and performant). So now they have a buggy mess with features no one wants and they're rolling it back.
There's no silver bullets in software development.
@ErikJonker@mastodon.social
@cdarwin@c.imLast year Congress voted unanimously to force Trump to end his illegal cover up and release the Epstein files in one of the most significant rebukes of American President in our history.
In recent months both Houses of Congress voted to repeal his illegal, destructive tariffs.
Yesterday the Supreme Court ended his ridiculous “Liberation Day” tariffs
and reminded him their were limits to his powers.
The people of Minnesota have been standing up for their neighbors, …
@Tupp_ed@mastodon.ie"With the two historical parties of government now reduced to a single two headed animal, they no longer have access to the pretence of decrying the party in power (while largely doing the same thing if they get in). Now they both have to argue that everything that is happening is the best possible thing and nothing that is different can be better."
@Mediagazer@mstdn.socialQ&A with Katie Couric about her media company, the state of broadcast news, why "both sides" reporting will fail, media companies' "capitulation" to Trump, more (Michael Schneider/Variety)
https://variety.com/2026/tv/news/katie
@karlauerbach@sfba.socialIn the last couple of days I have had two different types of NUC sized computers, both with Intel x86-64 processors (of different generations) that refuse to put out a video signal via HDMI to an LG 4K monitor.
If I switch to Display port (either via a true DP interface on the NUC or via a USB4==>DP cable) things work just fine.
Weird.
@detondev@social.linux.pizzaTOILING WITH YOUR BLOOD
I REMEMBER SOMETHING
IN B, UN—RATIONED KISSING ON A NIGHT SECOND TO LAAaaST
FINDING BOTH YOUR HANDS AS SECOND SUUUN CAME PAST THE GLAaSS
AND OH, I KNOW IT FELT RIGHT AND I HAD YOU IN MY GRAAAaaaAASP
@roland@devdilettante.comTrust us they say about self driving cars and the moon and mars. this is year 10 of both and none of it is working?!?!?
https://masto.ai/@GhostOnTheHalfShell/116122965521222035
@cheryanne@aus.socialBlues with a Feeling - The Official Podcast
With a dedicated following both locally and internationally as a radio show of 27 years, Shaun Bindley is now working on producing Blues with a Feeling as a Podcast...
Great Australian Pods Podcast Directory: https://www.greataustralianpods.com/blues-
@degrowthuk@mstdn.socialUK gov. wilfully misses the point:
“Food security is national security, and our high degree of food security is built on both strong domestic production and imports through stable trade routes. This government is investing billions in the development of new technology to increase yields or create climate-resilient crops, streamlining regulation, and helping farmers produce food for the nation.”'
‘Tinderbox’ UK may be one shock away from food riots.
@cosmos4u@scicomm.xyz
@wyri@toot-toot.wyrihaxim.us@… up both on the cluster and a fallback Pi in case the cluster is down.
@jamesthebard@social.linux.pizzaNerd sniped myself this time: after getting sniped yesterday with showing that for primes `p >= 5` that `24 | p^2 - 1`, I decided to look at primes `p, q` where `p, q >= 5` and see if `24 | p^2 - q^2`.
#math #nerdsnipe
@chiraag@mastodon.onlinePerfect, I have now moved all of my old blog posts over to @… (self-hosted)!
Y'all make it _so_ incredibly easy to setup, I love it! <3 Both Write Freely and @… were easy to setup (PeerTube less so, but still pre…
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.itMy neighbor took this picture of our shared backyard last night.
#NYC #snowmaggedon2026 #Queens
@Dragofix@veganism.socialHuge amounts of nanoplastics discovered in tap and bottled water https://news.mongabay.com/short-article/2026/03/huge-amounts-of-nanoplastics-discovered-in-tap-and-bottled-water/
@maxheadroom@hub.uckermark.socialI'm prepared for the #MeshCore fork
https://blog.meshcore.io/2026/04/23/the-split
@sonnets@bots.krohsnest.comSonnet 045 - XLV
The other two, slight air, and purging fire
Are both with thee, wherever I abide;
The first my thought, the other my desire,
These present-absent with swift motion slide.
For when these quicker elements are gone
In tender embassy of love to thee,
My life, being made of four, with two alone
Sinks down to death, oppress'd with melancholy;
Until life's composition be recured
By those swift messengers return'…
@hacksilon@infosec.exchangeRE: https://swecyb.com/@orlysec/116449748632289929
Okay, using FOREX exchange rates to seed a DGA for C2 is both clever and objectively funny. Reminds me of my time at university where the cryptography research group would settle on a place for lunch by random …
@BBC3MusicBot@mastodonapp.uk🔊 #NowPlaying on #BBCRadio3:
#WordsAndMusic
- Wishes
Be careful what you wish for: some wishes go badly wrong, others bring joy. We look at both kinds of wish, from the Monkey’s Paw to Edward Lear’s riotous poem about nutcrackers.
Relisten now 👇
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002rhr5
@tiotasram@kolektiva.socialAn extremely fascinating article (in French with link in reply to machine translation) via @… :
https://todon.nl/@yetiinabox/116282855527740634
I had not yet submitted myself to a deep dive into Thiel's theology, but it's way more interesting than I had imagined, and explains why he would call his company Palantir, which has always seemed a baffling choice to me. Apparently he's read One Piece, and imagines himself to be constructing A World Government?!?
Also I feel I understand a lot of things about Silicon Valley better now including lots of stuff about social network harms & corporate goals/policies. Belief in Girard's theory of mimetic desire (which I'd not encountered before) explains so much of SV founders' behavior and also it being at least partially reflective of reality explains both their success and some of their harms.
@NFL@darktundra.xyzNFL free-agency rankings 2026: Top 10 players at each position https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7056606/2026/02/23/nfl-free-agency-rankings-2026-positions/
@theodric@social.linux.pizzaIs it just me or do these both look quite stimulating
Maybe it's just me
Nevermind
@gwire@mastodon.socialThe Bafta/Tourette's thing was both inevitable, and - to some extent - unavoidable.
@grahams@mastodon.socialThe https://iffboston.org/ begins tonight at the Somerville Theatre! I’m unfortunately still getting over a cold so I’m going to miss opening night but I hope to get there tomorrow or Friday at the latest! Check it out, have fun, and I hope to see you during the festival!
@vyskocilm@witter.cz @Techmeme@techhub.socialDeepSeek V4 Pro has 1.6T total parameters, its largest model by the metric, and V4 Flash has 284B parameters; both models have a context window of 1M tokens (Vincent Chow/South China Morning Post)
https://www.scmp.com/tech/big-tech/article
@ruth_mottram@fediscience.orgNot every day you wake up to a piece in the @eurcorrespond.bsky.social that is both about your project @… and cites one of your papers (on #Greenlandification), can only recommend you give it a read!
(and subscribe)
https://newsletter-cdn.europeancorrespondent.com/go/ak53kj8tcubfm2k18fblmjksu8cjojh9qmbk044w06fc/2866#chk_qrec6OJBgM9WvLzlYQ_3 .
@cowboys@darktundra.xyzNFL free-agency rankings 2026: Top 10 players at each position https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7056606/2026/02/23/nfl-free-agency-rankings-2026-positions/
@netzschleuder@social.skewed.desp_colocation: Social co-locations (2018)
Network of colocations between peoople, based on the information on which RFID readers received information from the RFID tags. Namely, we define two individuals to be in co-presence if the same exact set of readers have received signals from both individuals during a 20s time window.
This network has 332 nodes and 18613039 edges.
Tags: Social, Offline, Unweighted, Weighted, Temporal, Metadata
@inthehands@hachyderm.ioI’ll raise a quiet glass to Robert Mueller here. In the public mind, he was first the messianic savior of democracy and then an emblem of inadequacy and institutional failure — and both those visions did him a disservice.
He tried to do the right thing in a principled way. His effort failed, and we’ve paid dearly for that failure. The failure was his, but also all of ours to share: for every one of his choices that I can second-guess, I can name half a dozen places where others failed to hold up their/our end of the bargain, took the work he handed off and dropped it flat.
He failed, but he tried his damndest — and that’s more than I can say for a lot of folks in the USA over the last 10 years.
@davidaugust@mastodon.onlineLast day of $13 tees from my Threadless store (and up to 40% off everything):
#sale
@raiders@darktundra.xyzNFL free-agency rankings 2026: Top 10 players at each position https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7056606/2026/02/23/nfl-free-agency-rankings-2026-positions/
@hex@kolektiva.socialThis text contains both prompt injection and possible training set data poisoning. So... Don't use it to train an LLM. Or do... Fuck around and find out, if that's your game. I'm not your dad.
@bourgwick@heads.social40 years ago tonight, the grateful dead in virginia, finishing their 3 nights at the hampton coliseum, both sets are pretty fun, the practice continuing to pay off. spring ’86, show #3.
soundboard: https://archive.org/details/gd1986-03-21.142450.sbd.miller.flac1648…
@cyrevolt@mastodon.socialI like both aluminium and alumegaum. 🤘
@cdarwin@c.imThe S.P.L.C. defines a hate group as an organization that
“has beliefs or practices that attack or malign an entire class of people, typically for their immutable characteristics,” according to its website.
The indictment appears to fit within the Trump administration’s pattern of using the Justice Department to punish its political adversaries.
The S.P.L.C. has certainly been adversarial toward the president:
In an article last year, Margaret Huang, who was then the…
@servelan@newsie.social"there's no ‘great hospital boat’ coming to Greenland because both U.S. hospital ships – the USNS Mercy and the USNS Comfort – are currently incapacitated, undergoing maintenance."
Critics say Trump's 'frankly unreal' Greenland post shows he's 'suffering from dementia' - Raw Story
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-2675291961/
@LillyHerself@Mastodon.socialNot having grown up in the UK, I knew Cilla Black's name but basically nothing else about her. Found this amazing song written *for her* by Lennon and McCartney - sounds like a Bond theme! [It's for you]
@aardrian@toot.cafe“Hegseth ends mandatory flu vaccine for US military, says shot is now optional”
https://abcnews.com/Politics/hegseth-ends-mandatory-flu-vaccine-us-military-shot/story?id=132245040
He’s counting on endemic flu symptoms to hid…
@Mediagazer@mstdn.socialThe Atlantic signs a three-year deal with cruise line Seabourn, giving passengers digital access while onboard and a three-month subscription after disembarking (Mark Stenberg/Adweek)
https://www.adweek.com/media/atlantic-cruise-ship-seabourn-partnership…
@ErikUden@mastodon.deYou strangle us for forty years and then criticize us for the way we breathe.
A quote often attributed to Fidel Castro regarding the state of Cuba, yet there being no official record of him ever saying it. One way or the other, it's a perfect summary of both Cuba's situation under imperialist oppression, as well as the 'egoism' workers develop in a capitalist state. We are products of our environment, shape the environment, shape the people and the countries th…
@scott@carfree.city"The forest gardens were filled with plants that benefited humans, but they also continue to provide food for birds, bears, and insect pollinators, even after 150 years of neglect."
Notice how this debunks mainstream conservationism's dichotomy between "wild" land conserved for the environment's sake, and land developed for human use. Here, human activity improved the land's use both for humans AND the wider web of life we're part of.
@seeingwithsound@mas.toMotor imagery affects both cortical and spinal circuitry: a transcranial and trans-spinal magnetic stimulation study https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/neural-circuits/articles/10.3389/fncir.2026.1809125/abstract
@dr2chase@ohai.socialMy favorite use for Ikea bags. #bikes #cargobikes
@lpryszcz@genomic.social @Techmeme@techhub.socialDeepSeek V4 Pro costs $1.74/1M input tokens and $3.48/1M output tokens, while V4 Flash costs $0.14/1M and $0.28/1M; both models are the cheapest in their class (Simon Willison/Simon Willison's Weblog)
https://simonwillison.net/2026/Apr/24/deepseek-v4/
@grumpybozo@toad.socialIn case anyone missed it: POTUS has just threatened a gross war crime. The fact that Russia has been doing it for years in Ukraine doesn’t make it legal.
Any servicemember involved in executing such a mission would be violating both US and international law.
@penguin42@mastodon.org.ukTwo more loft finds; the white saucer is part of a partial set of Japanese export ware, we've also got a few other pieces including tiny demitasse cups. The black is part of a fairly full set of Chinese Fuzhou 'bodiless' lacquerware - it's made of layers of cloth built on a clay body, but the clay body is removed, and they smooth and paint the cloth. They're very lightweight. Both seem fairly common from somewhere mid 20th century.
@markrsmith@smithtodon.orgNow I've seen BOTH Miracles on Ice!!!!!!!!
USA!!!!!!!!
@jamie@boothcomputing.social
@relcfp@mastodon.socialCall for Panelists (2026 ASA): Personal Transnational Networks of Support: Empowerment or Trap?
https://ift.tt/5zLDKEc
Treaties and Empire Seminar Series: Trần Thị Xuân (Hamburg University) - Interpreters and Foreign…
via Input 4 RELCFP
@sonnets@bots.krohsnest.comSonnet 035 - XXXV
No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:
Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud:
Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,
And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.
All men make faults, and even I in this,
Authorizing thy trespass with compare,
Myself corrupting, salving thy amiss,
Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are;
For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense,
Thy adverse party is thy advocat…
@joxean@mastodon.socialUSA and its government is so sane, stable and predictable, that both stopping the war against Iran and sending ground troops to try to invade Iran seems equally possible with these guys.
@thomastraynor@social.linux.pizzaNot going to happen for me. My personal preference is Vivaldi. Chrome is only used when Vivaldi has a problem with a site and that doesn't happen very often.
https://flip.it/b4Fr2-
@NFL@darktundra.xyzGiants draft Reese at No. 5, then Mauigoa at 10 https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/48575339/giants-draft-arvell-reese-no-5-francis-mauigoa-10
@davidaugust@mastodon.online"The flu killed 15,849 U.S. soldiers in France and another 30,000 in stateside camps. That’s 45,849 killed by the flu versus 26,277 killed at Meuse-Argonne — documenting that the flu was by far our most deadly battle.
More civilians (over 50 million) died from the flu than from both World Wars and the Holocaust combined. Another 500 million civilians were incapacitated by the flu."
@gwire@mastodon.socialExcited at the improvements in data standards in planning data, which will benefit both local planners and - more importantly - people who just like to look at geocoded datapoints displayed on maps.
https://mhclgdigital.blog.gov.uk/2026/
@cdarwin@c.imAs Paramount moved Monday to sweeten its bid for Warner Bros. Discovery,
a high-stakes political battle is playing out behind the scenes.
Paramount's latest offer enhanced its earlier $30-a-share bid, valued at $108 billion,
said a person familiar with the process who was not authorized to comment publicly.
Details of the revised proposal, first reported by Bloomberg, were not immediately available.
The firm is leveraging both the dynastic wealth of
@thomasfuchs@hachyderm.ioWhat really makes me irate about how LLMs are marketed and sold is that if these companies instead spend their time and money to make highly specialized versions for them we could have amazing and actually helpful tools without the ick.
This could both work much better for many use cases (for example for correlating documents and giving a list of results like a search engine instead of tedious palaver) and they wouldn't need to steal data (Professor Bender calls it succinctly "datasets too large to care")[1].
But they're pursuing "AGI" (which is provenly impossible to do with LLMs) and endless growth.
[1] https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/116109627131276897
@Techmeme@techhub.socialCanada's Cohere and Germany's Aleph Alpha agree to a merger deal valuing the combined group at ~$20B to work on sovereign AI; both governments support the deal (Financial Times)
https://www.ft.com/content/4492c0d6-855b-4164-9ae5-f4d855a95f1e
@cowboys@darktundra.xyzNew Cowboys Mock Draft Has Team Make Shocking Trade Into Top 3 https://www.si.com/nfl/cowboys/onsi/draft/dallas-cowboys-2026-nfl-mock-draft-shocking-trade-jeremiyah-love
@Mediagazer@mstdn.socialA look at Lawyers for Reporters, a project of the Cyrus R. Vance Center for International Justice, and how it helps news organizations like Deep South Today (Tandy Lau/Editor and Publisher)
https://www.editorandpublisher.com/stories/putting-the-free-in-pre…
@hex@kolektiva.socialCollectively owning property is difficult because the law is not set up for that, but a church provides a clear legal framework to do so. Prisoners can be cut off from political literature, but the first amendment protects religious literature (which is why Nazis started a church to get Nazi shit inside of prisons... but that's a whole other story). While these legal protections are definitely not guaranteed (we all know how many fucks the state gives about the law), it is both easy to hide in the noise (there are a *lot* of churches) and to hide in other ways. After all, the ichthys (Jesus fish) was an appropriated pagan symbol.
And there is also still value in peeling off other religious groups by showing them that they are also in danger. "When your enemy is strong, divide them," after all.
@raiders@darktundra.xyzThe Draft Will Help Keep the Raiders Ahead of Schedule https://www.si.com/nfl/raiders/onsi/las-vegas-draft-will-help-keep-ahead-of-schedule
@davidaugust@mastodon.onlineMy Threadless store stuff on sale today and part of tomorrow:
$14 Regular & Classic Tees
$14 Kids Tees
$17 Extra Soft & Fitted Tees
Up to 35% off Everything Else (sale prices as marked)
Sale ends April 23rd at 5 PM CDT
Please go get merch.
https://davidaugust.threadless.com/
@NFL@darktundra.xyzWho's in and who's out for Championship Sunday? Final injury reports for Patriots-Broncos and Rams-Seahawks
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/champion…
@sonnets@bots.krohsnest.comSonnet 138 - CXXXVIII
When my love swears that she is made of truth,
I do believe her though I know she lies,
That she might think me some untutored youth,
Unlearned in the world's false subtleties.
Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,
Although she knows my days are past the best,
Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue:
On both sides thus is simple truth suppressed:
But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
And wher…
@cheryanne@aus.socialI've had a pretty nice day off. Stayed in bed and read until 9 am!!!
To be fair I did go out to Civic with a friend last night to see Luke Heggie, we ate dinner at Verity Lane afterwards. And had dessert! Plus we both had a couple of glasses of wine. Nice.
Newbie bus driver got lost on the way home - he had to circle abound and re-enter Woden temporary interchange because he did it the wrong way which took ages. And then we had to tell him which way to turn. Husband couldn…
@aral@mastodon.ar.alI walked into this nice house yesterday, marched the family living there out at gunpoint, murdered all the neighbours, and took the whole block for myself.
Calm down, calm down, my name’s Israel.
Ah, right, no worries, you don’t have to apologise. I can see why you were confused and thought you might have had to get angry at me before you realised who I was. It was a silly mistake, think nothing of it. We both know you’d never criticise anything I do… you’re not antisemitic.
@davidaugust@mastodon.onlineSo Secretary of Transportation Duffy has gotten another 2 people killed playing bumper plane.
Duffy and potus really like getting people killed.
https://apnews.com/article/new-york-laguardia-airport-air-canada-collision-6a3c…
@aardrian@toot.cafeBoth `caret-color` and `caret-shape` getting some attention:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DSNiSKd-Y
In my role as CSS buzzkill, however, I try to give more context on use, risks, user prefs, CSSWG dismissiveness, etc:
@hex@kolektiva.socialAfter the whole Adam Something "dating advice for leftist men" thing, I realized I should probably write something about that. I didn't, but I realized I should. Here I am sort of getting around to it.
I had a friend call me an "elder" at one point. I was like 35 at that time, but like... a lot of old leftists are just dead or in prison, so we take what we can get I guess. Being also an elder in the sense that I'm an elder millennial, who is also a parent and married for almost 10 years and all that, I guess I'm technically qualified.
So here it is, dating advice for (straight cis) leftist men:
1. Don't.
That's it, actually. That's the whole thing. Let me explain a bit.
First of all, this is dating advice for neuroatypical folks. We're way overrepresented in both extremes because this system wasn't built for us. And that's who is *the most* confused by all the relationship stuff, and most likely to try to apply all this masculinity/manosphere bullshit. I'm also talking a bit from experience here, as a neruo-spicy trying to "figure out" how to date within a paradigm entirely built around neurotypicals and their relationships. It's garbage. Throw it out. There's nothing worth saving.
His video had some line comparing not having sex to your house being on fire. I'm not gonna bother to quote it because I'm busy with actual life. But like, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I recognize that and it's horribly destructive. Men who buy in to patriarchy actually believe this, because those men value themselves based on (hetro) sex. Yeah, if you think you're worthless because you aren't "getting laid" then yeah, you're gonna feel like that's an emergency.
"Dating" as a paradigm turns humans into roles. It dehumanizes us all, and thus makes human connection much harder. It is a game that, like thermonuclear war, can only be won by not playing.
When you abandon "dating" and just act like a human, everything starts to be easier. There's no such thing as being "friend zoned" because you're just friends. Sometimes friendships become other things, sometimes they don't. It doesn't actually matter, because if you're actually there for friendship then you don't *need* anything else.
My grandma, at 98 I think, gave me some advice. My grandparents always got along well, and were married for enough decades that I listened really closely. She told me I should just do things I loved to do and everything else would work itself out.
And it kind of did.
I understand the fear, the idea that you'll die alone. I get that. I get the loneliness. It all hits a lot harder when you have ADHD emotions and past trauma. I get that. But that fear is self-manifesting. When you build your confidence, when you don't *need* to be "in a relationship," you have more room to actually build relationships. For me, dating was dehumanizing. When I abandoned that, I was able to actually be a good partner, and I was able to find my partner.
I would advise against marriage as well, but we did get married for legal reasons. It can still be hard to maintain that, to see each other as people rather than roles. That becomes extra hard as parents. But the times that we cut through that are the times we're closest. Those are the times when it becomes easier to remember that we're both humans and all human relationships need tending.
Roles don't need to be tended because they are classifications. Classifications are static. But relationships between humans are not. Humans are messy and chaotic. Humans have all kinds of complex needs and desires.
So yeah, don't date. Just be a human and see what happens. Maybe google "relationship anarchy" and see where it takes you.
If you have ADHD, it can be especially useful to understand that relationships with neurotypical folks can be especially difficult. Assume you're incompatible with 90% of the population as your baseline, and you'll start to understand why the standard "dating" thing has made you feel so alienated and miserable.
Neurotypical folks generally have no idea that atypicality exists, much less how it impacts relationships. Having to conform to a neurotypical relationship just adds additional mental strain unless you find someone (really special) who can do at least some of the work.
The ADHD thing was especially important for me. There were so many things I was told to do in specific ways by neurotypicals that never worked for me. Their advice always made me feel like a failure. When I was finally diagnosed, I realized they were just giving advice for the wrong type of brain. It was advice I could never use. Basically all dating advice I ever got fell into this same category.
That's my braindump. Maybe I'll develop it more in the future, but I'm busy so maybe not. I hope it helps someone who is struggling like I was.
@cowboys@darktundra.xyzCowboys get Ohio State's Downs and UCF's Lawrence in NFL draft after moving twice in 1st round https://www.foxsports.com/articles/nfl/cowboys-get-ohio-states-downs-and-ucfs-lawrence-in-nfl-draft-after-movin…
@thomasfuchs@hachyderm.ioThe similarities between VR and AI are actually really striking; both are technologies that are amazing for a few narrow niche use cases and completely unsuitable for anything else.
But they are both heavily marketed and hyped exactly for the use cases where they suck and make no sense.
@relcfp@mastodon.socialCall for Panelists (2026 ASA): Personal Transnational Networks of Support: Empowerment or Trap? https://networks.h-net.org/group/announcements/20142353/call-panelists-2026-asa-personal-transnational-networks-support…
@NFL@darktundra.xyz'Going for gold': Burrow, RG III want in on Olympic flag football for Team USA https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/48290476/joe-burrow-robert-griffin-iii-olympic-flag-football-team-usa
@raiders@darktundra.xyzA.J. Brown comments from Eagles are great news for Raiders, Patriots, Bills, Broncos https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/philadelphia-eagles/news/aj-brown-comments-eagles-great-news-raiders-pat…
@cheryanne@aus.socialBothsides Podcast
Hosted by Daniel Beardall, Kevin Buchanan, and Josh Morrissey, each episode dives into the mindset, strategy, and stories behind success...
Great Australian Pods Podcast Directory: https://www.greataustralianpods.com/both-sides/
@NFL@darktundra.xyz2026 NFL mock draft: Last-call predictions feature slides for Sonny Styles, Francis Mauigoa
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/news/2026-nfl-mock-draft-final-predictions/
@Techmeme@techhub.socialGoogle now offers two research agents: Deep Research, replacing its December preview release, and Deep Research Max, both available via Gemini API paid tiers (The Keyword)
https://blog.google/innovation-and-ai/models-and-research/…
@NFL@darktundra.xyzHow Patriots' versatile pass rush shuts down opposing quarterbacks: Watch video https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6995133/2026/01/23/video-analysis-patriots-playoffs/
@Techmeme@techhub.socialGoogle is ending Gmailify and POP access in Gmail; new users will lose access in Q1 2026, and existing users will keep both features until later in 2026 (David Nield/Wired)
https://www.wired.com/story/gmail-killing-pop-and-gmailify-access-what-it-mean…
@NFL@darktundra.xyzJohn Harbaugh on relationship with Lamar Jackson: 'Ask him, he'll tell you. We love each other' https://www.nfl.com/news/john-harbaugh-on-relationship-with-lamar-jackson-ask-him-he-ll-tell-you-we-love-each-other…
@Techmeme@techhub.socialFiling: Anthropic spent $1.6M and OpenAI $1M on lobbying in Q1, vs. $360K and $560K in Q1 2025, respectively; Meta topped Big Tech lobbying spending with $7.1M (Ashley Gold/Axios)
https://www.axios.com/2026/04/21/anthropic-outspends-openai-biggest-lobbyin…
@cdarwin@c.imTrump has offered shifting accounts of the status of talks with Iran and of the Strait of Hormuz that have been contradicted by the Iranians
-- and sometimes himself.
He has contradicted himself,
as well his energy secretary,
about prospects for lower gasoline prices.
And he has offered conflicting accounts on one of the key issues in the conflict
— the fate of Iran’s highly enriched uranium.
Ahead of the first meeting in Pakistan on April 11, Trump …
@Techmeme@techhub.socialMicrosoft cuts Xbox Game Pass Ultimate price from $29.99 to $22.99/month and PC Game Pass from $16.49 to $13.99, but both tiers won't get new Call of Duty games (Tom Warren/The Verge)
https://www.theverge.com/news/915928/microsoft-xbox-game-pass-ultimate…
@Techmeme@techhub.socialTim Cook had an extraordinary run and impeccable timing in stepping down, with Apple in a better place than it has ever been as AI becomes its next big test (Ben Thompson/Stratechery)
https://stratechery.com/2026/tim-cooks-impeccable-timing/
