@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-02-15 04:06:41
Yo, wtf did I do to deserve *this*? And yes, I need a haircut and shave, but it's not *that* bad!
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-02-15 04:06:41
@bourgwick@heads.social2026-03-15 20:54:35
poster by my dad, al jarnow, for #brooklyn public library, fall 1966, when he was briefly their (freshly dropped out of college) art director.
@Xavier@infosec.exchange2026-03-14 14:42:33
I had a proud dad moment today taking my 14yo son to sword class today.
"Dad, can we listen to Led Zeppelin?"
@kurtsh@mastodon.social2026-02-16 06:07:59
@peterhoneyman@a2mi.social2026-02-16 00:58:49
my dad hanging out with his anti-fascist krewe on a sunny day
@penguin42@mastodon.org.uk2026-01-16 21:37:46
Time to investigate my dad's turntable; a Pioneer PL-15R; so at 33.33RPM, and with a disk with 64 edges, that should be 33.33/60*64=35.6Hz - so seeing 35.7Hz off my hacky photodiode sensor makes me very happy; although it's varying a little, but my scopes frequency counter is based off it's display, so hmm. And it's FFT won't go down that low really.
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-01-16 03:23:22
A: "I don't understand how you're so relaxed when you don't hear from the kids. Everyone in my family is like, 'msg me right when you get home!'"
me: "Ah, [13yo] is fine. He went home and is 100% watching videos when he's not supposed to be, hoping we forgot about him so that he can get away w/ as much screen time as he can. If he were stuck on the subway or something, he'd have messaged. Actually, I'd be more worried if he DID message.&qu…
![me: "Oh man, it's so nice without mom, dad, and [8yo] here. I get as much screen time as I want. Muahahaha" ?
me: 🤨😀
13yo: Please leave a message at the tone
13yo: BOOOP
me: Damn it, I was talking to the machine again. I always do that!](https://mastodon-usw-cache.b-cdn.net/media_attachments/files/115/902/631/170/310/788/original/a433d9ef0b4a6ad9.png)
@servelan@newsie.social2026-01-14 21:47:04
Pam Bondi And Lindsey Halligan Say Judges Not Their Real Dad, Cannot Tell Them What To Do
https://www.wonkette.com/p/pam-bondi-and-lindsey-halligan-say
@cdarwin@c.im2026-01-03 07:37:32
Donald Trump’s tech skills are coming into question after he celebrated his youngest son,
Barron Trump’s, skill for a rather mundane task...
—turning on his computer
https://www.irishstar.com/news/politics/barron-trump-hailed-dad-donald-36489339
@cowboys@darktundra.xyz2026-02-05 01:09:43
Bussin' with the Boys Give Their Best Dad Advice to Josh Allen https://www.si.com/nfl/super-bowl/video/bussin-with-the-boys-give-their-best-dad-advice-to-josh-allen
@bourgwick@heads.social2026-03-14 22:43:26
@GroupNebula563@mastodon.social2025-12-29 10:42:19
alt text stolen from another variant of this meme posted by @… and modified to fit this version
tags and such: #VOTV #VOTVPosting
@groupnebula563@mastodon.social2025-12-29 10:42:19
alt text stolen from another variant of this meme posted by @… and modified to fit this version
tags and such: #VOTV #VOTVPosting
@raiders@darktundra.xyz2026-03-02 21:33:51
Caleb Rogers on being a girl dad, Las Vegas and playing O-line https://www.raiders.com/video/caleb-rogers-girl-dad-las-vegas-offensive-line
@david_colquhoun@mstdn.social2026-03-10 23:31:10
Being old, I joined U3A (my dad was a member when it was called University of the 3rd Age). I came across a course that's designed to teach you about #AI. But it's more like a Musk promotion exercise. I find that worrying. Uncritical education is worse than useless www.silveraiproject.com
For example the course has a lot of made-up baloney about longevity -miseducation about quackery
@brian_gettler@mas.to2026-03-10 18:04:53
Content warning: Kid1 Dad Joke
What sounds like a parrot but is orange?
A carrot.
@kctipton@mas.to2026-03-08 00:35:00
My dad made the biggest motorized gold jewelled egg in the world. The obsession would destroy his marriage, family and fortune | The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/mar/07/paul-kutchinsky-egg-obsession-destroy-marriage-fam…
@chris@mstdn.chrisalemany.ca2026-03-10 16:15:42
“[he argued] he committed no wrongdoing because he believed coast guard vessels should wait to be tasked before responding to a distress call. "
Absolutely shocking. Goes against everything I ever learned on the water when I was out fishing with my dad.
If you hear a distress call on the radio that means it is near you... you drop everything, and you help.
For this guy... a captain in the Coast Guard!!... to “wait for instructions” is beyond the pale.
Seconds are life on the ocean.
Smug dude looks like an entitled ass and a coward….
Glad he was fired.
#safety #boating #RCCG
@memeorandum@universeodon.com2026-02-11 01:10:49
Dad shot daughter after 'arguing about Donald Trump' (Jonny HumphriesNorth West/BBC)
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwyk917xy8no
http://www.memeorandum.com/260210/p156#a260210p156
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social2026-02-09 16:36:29
95 Dad jokes from buzzfeed.
82. What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Not a word.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/alanna_marshall/best-dark-humor-jokes-of-all-time
@mlawton@mstdn.social2026-02-02 19:00:52
My dear friends here in the #running community - I have some sad news to share.
Our friend @… lost his father a few days ago on the 30th. He's given me his blessing to let everyone know.
Lee's dad celebrated his 90th birthday this past August, and this photo…
@NicolasGriseyDemengel@piaille.fr2026-02-12 07:04:27
> Last Tuesday my kid came back from school, sat down and asked: “How does ChatGPT actually know what word comes next?” And I thought - great question. Terrible timing, because dinner was almost ready, but great question.
"So whats the next word, then?"
https://matthias-kainer.de/blog…
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-02-15 00:07:09
13yo: "it's all settled to the bottom. it's like.. what's it called? It's like.."
me: "rain on your wedding day?"
13yo: "no, it's"
me: "a free ride when you've already paid?"
13yo: "omg dad STOP"
13yo: "IT'S LIKE MISO SOUP, OKAY!"
@sean@scoat.es2026-03-11 01:14:50
Using some of my pre-embargo Bourbon in my maple candy (syrup from 2025). Hope it’s worth it. Will report back.
@ErikUden@mastodon.de2026-03-05 19:48:17
somewhere in rural america a divorced dad has recreated his entire family with character ai because his real kids don't call anymore
@smashtie@mas.to2026-01-10 14:09:05
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot2026-01-09 08:12:04
Dad and I have an appointment today that matters quite a lot (not medical) and which the other party has rescheduled twice already due to matters at their end beyond their control. If it's put off again due to snow I will be 🤬 This has been dragging on for weeks. We only have to get to Ludlow on more or less main roads so I'm optimistic.
@peterhoneyman@a2mi.social2026-03-13 21:48:01
Happy 104th birthday 🎂 to my late mom 👵🏼, who was not born on Friday the 13th😱 but was born a bit under a cloud 🌧️. She suffered extreme poverty 💸 during the depression 📉, had way more kids 🧑🏽🦱👱🏼♂️👩🏼🦰 👶🏼 than she planned for (sorry, mom), never got that PhD 📜, or the chocolate brown Mercedes 280SL.
I’m not sure she loved my dad, or her kids, or herself. I should have asked! But she lived a long life and was, for me and a lot of others, a feminist, activist, progressive role model. …
@cellfourteen@social.petertoushkov.eu2026-01-08 11:29:15
My Canadian Dad's First Impressions Of My New Home (Sofia, Bulgaria) - Alina Mcleod
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyimFEWKOco
@cdarwin@c.im2026-02-01 21:13:29
Five-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos and his father,
who were detained by immigration officers in Minnesota and held at an ICE facility in Texas,
have been released following a judge’s order.
They have returned to Minnesota, according to Texas Rep. Joaquin Castro.
The boy and his dad, Adrian Conejo Arias, who is originally from Ecuador,
were detained in a Minneapolis suburb on Jan. 20.
They were taken to a detention facility in Dilley, Texas.
Katherine Sch…
@servelan@newsie.social2026-03-01 19:10:17
'Shoot your precious president': Trump death-threat forger who fooled Kristi Noem into thinking he was an immigrant dad of 3 slapped with prison sentence | Law & Crime
https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/shoot-your-precious-president-trump-death-threat-forger-who-fooled-kristi-noem-into-thinking-he-was-an-immigrant-dad-of-3-slapped-with-prison-sentence/
@chrislowles@mastodon.social2026-02-11 02:25:55
I need to go to one of these pro-Palestine marches and record myself so my Dad can understand that a cop punching a random in the gut for verifiably no reason is actually a bad thing, he knows my autistic ass would do nothing but walk with the marchers so he'd be fucked argument wise.
@radioeinsmusicbot@mastodonapp.uk2026-01-08 17:47:02
🇺🇦 Auf radioeins läuft...
Gay Dad:
🎵 Oh Jim
#NowPlaying #GayDad
https://open.spotify.com/track/0cggwzqjaEytAPllnW690x
@darius@social.linux.pizza2026-03-12 23:36:17
Does anyone ever feel nostalgia regarding PDAs? As a kid, I first got an old Palm and then a Pocket Loox 720 (with Windows Mobile 2003SE) as a hand-down from my dad.
I have very fond memories of browsing through the depths of the Internet trying to find some cool new program. Most notably though, there was a port of Android you could boot from a CF or SD card, and it was the coolest thing ever:
@NFL@darktundra.xyz2025-12-29 12:14:41
A Falcons iron man: Jake Matthews chases dad's historic streak https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/47420688/atlanta-falcons-jake-matthews-iron-man-bruce-matthews
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-03-04 20:07:58
Trying my hand at being an influencer. This is our jabber family chat.
@detondev@social.linux.pizza2026-01-05 00:00:10
how could she
![Due to the hostile nature of the relations between Armenia and Turkey, the opening of Armenian restaurants serving the food in Russia was met by some protests.[2][30] In March 2020, Kim Kardashian, an American socialite and media personality of Armenian heritage, posted a video on her Instagram saying "Who knows about lahmacun? This is our Armenian pizza. My dad would always put string cheese on it and then put it in the oven and get it really crispy." This sparked outrage among Turkish social …](https://cdn.social.linux.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/839/404/785/849/831/original/0277ee8125200331.jpg)
@Kingu@sakurajima.moe2026-01-30 18:58:29
@catsalad@infosec.exchange2026-01-26 03:40:08
Too much snow on your car?
Let your kids help!
@timfoster@mastodon.social2026-03-02 11:28:46
Dad-taxi 4:30am start this morning for the airport run this morning, and *surely* it must be lunchtime at this point?
(glances at clock, 11:30 only?!)
@paulbusch@mstdn.ca2026-01-01 15:56:26
I'm going for the easy win and asking my 2 daughters to join Mastodon. They can't turn down their dad, right?
#BringAFriendToMastodon
@kurt@nelson.fun2025-12-21 21:24:52
@… my dad named a small university bathroom after his dad. I have to one-up him obviously.
@inthehands@hachyderm.io2026-01-24 23:33:06
Oh. 💔 My wife and her dad both knew Alex Pretti from the VA Hospital where he was a nurse. “Gentle and such a good listener.”
@davidaugust@mastodon.online2025-12-25 22:44:39
Content warning: Gen AI bad holiday pun
Happy Holidays! Dad joke, macabre pun? I don’t know, I just hope search and rescue finds him in one piece. 😳😝🎄🛩️🔥
#MerryChristmas #RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer #holidays
@Allegra@social.linux.pizza2026-01-01 16:45:23
My dad made me a Vesa compatible holder for my oscilloscope and it turned out great! Just as imagined. Of course, it is a massive steel construction, we both would not trust a 3D printed construction with my dear Rigol.
#electronics #oscilloscope
@bourgwick@heads.social2026-03-09 16:01:47
forgot to post this yesterday: that time the daily news caught my dad rolling a number at a country joe show in tompkins square park, august 1967.
@jake4480@c.im2026-01-27 18:50:03
They actually show Google.com being used in Silent Hill from 06 (rare in movies, a lot of times it's a made up search engine and phony looking computer).
But then he goes to the ghost town website, and the URL is ghosttownsamerica.web. 😂
#SilentHill #movies
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot2026-01-08 11:23:23
Oh dear, one disappointed call centre worker who didn't manage to upsell the insurance that came with the cooker. I know they're probably on commission but in my experience these companies will bend over backwards to wriggle out of paying for repairs so it's not worth it. When the tumble drier conked out a year ago Dad insisted on going through the insurance agreement he had with them and it was dire. After two months of faffing about and several failed repairs we just bought a n…
@cowboys@darktundra.xyz2026-03-03 23:02:22
Jason Witten's son, top LB recruit, commits to join dad at Oklahoma https://cowboyswire.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/cowboys/2026/03/03/cowboys-jason-witten-cooper-witten-commits-oklahoma/88968213007/…
@finlaydag33k@social.linux.pizza2026-02-22 21:58:10
>Mom: "Your fishtank seems to be flowing slowly"
>Dad: "No, it's fine, it's not supposed to flow strongly"
>Me: *looks*
>Me: "No, mom is very much right"
@lapizistik@social.tchncs.de2026-01-27 12:53:24
For right-wing people a basic concept is we against “them”. They are not against healthcare, but against healthcare for “them”. Not against the subsidized bus their mum rides but against busses for “them”. Not against grants for their dad's payments but against giving “them” money.
They are the ones God loves as they are righteous, but not “them” who are wrong. Jesus? Ok, Jesus may pity “them”, but only with a grin.
So when MAGA announced all the cuts the voters' minds re…
@hex@kolektiva.social2026-02-22 21:34:17
This text contains both prompt injection and possible training set data poisoning. So... Don't use it to train an LLM. Or do... Fuck around and find out, if that's your game. I'm not your dad.
@Erikmitk@mastodon.gamedev.place2026-02-25 18:27:06
Multiple people have asked me “How many push-ups can you do, dad?”
My guess and the experimentally confirmed number is 30!
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social2026-01-04 03:43:58
#silentSunday
Migrating geese
(Embedded dad joke in alt text)
@philip@mastodon.mallegolhansen.com2026-02-19 17:15:50
@… I’d love for you to meet my mom and dad.
@LaChasseuse@mastodon.scot2026-02-18 11:54:29
Emotionally brutal poem. Don't read it if you are feeling fragile today.
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-02-04 22:50:10
When they're in kindergarten: "Dad, can you zip up my jacket? I don't know how"
When they're in middle school: "Dad, can you zip up my jacket? I can't put down my video game right now"
@tiotasram@kolektiva.social2026-01-19 21:51:49
Just finished "Match Point!" by Maddie Gallegos, an excellent graphic novel about racquetball, dumpster diving, best friends, and pressure from Dad. The characters and their fromance are super cute, and while I'm sure some might find the ending too happy, I'm usually fine with seeing the aspirational version of relationships because it can serve as a good role model, while other narratives can help explain how to handle worse outcomes.
#AmReading #ReadingNow
@BBC3MusicBot@mastodonapp.uk2026-02-19 23:40:13
🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on BBCRadio3's #RoundMidnight
Theon Cross:
🎵 Watching Over (Bless Up Dad)
#TheonCross
https://open.spotify.com/track/543G76m7uORyRpzBL3ditX
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social2026-02-28 22:34:07
Content warning: Dad Joke: Wanna know what makes me smile?
Facial muscles.
#dadJokes
@timfoster@mastodon.social2026-02-27 23:54:51
Dad taxi, 23:54, still waiting in the airport. Don't tell me I don't know how to party on a Friday night...
@cdarwin@c.im2026-02-01 01:13:12
A 5-year-old boy and his father must be released by Tuesday
from the Texas center where they’ve been held after being detained by immigration officers in Minnesota,
a federal judge ordered Saturday in a ruling that harshly criticized the Trump administration’s approach to enforcement.
Images of Liam Conejo Ramos, wearing a bunny hat and Spider-Man backpack,
being surrounded by Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers
sparked even more outcry about the admini…
@raiders@darktundra.xyz2026-03-02 18:49:33
Caleb Rogers on Being a Girl Dad, Las Vegas and Playing O-Line https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f50m7xa9JI
@kurtsh@mastodon.social2025-12-24 17:07:31
Always always always adopt your pets.
Shelter dogs have such wonderful personalities.
▶️ Rob Lowe has some thoughts about surprise puppy presents
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2025/12/23/rob-lowe-do…
@Xavier@infosec.exchange2026-01-17 17:36:41
Just had a proud dad moment. My youngest kid (14) just said "The way Gomez Addams treats his wife... That's like the best way to treat a spouse. You shower them with love."
This boy is going make someone very happy when he gets older.
@brian_gettler@mas.to2026-01-20 13:56:43
On housing for students at Ontario universities.
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/ontario-university-housing-survey/article_569933c2-2e92-4732-b7f0-4fc0ddde9e1f.html
@NFL@darktundra.xyz2026-02-24 00:59:30
Sources: QB Rivers follows dad Philip to NC State https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/48018176/four-star-qb-gunner-rivers-son-philip-rivers-commits-nc-state-wolfpack-football
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-01-07 01:33:24
bahaha what an amazing dad pun
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot2026-01-01 12:08:30
Dreading the 'how did you bring in the new year?' questions as I have nothing to say. It's been a draining year and I did impressively well to stay up til midnight. Now having a cheerless visit with my mother at the care home, made esp irritating as Dad is here and he massively p'd me off yesterday by saying he hadn't agreed to having a cat - WHAT? We discussed it several times. He doesn't have the big D but does go back on his word sometimes.
@losttourist@social.chatty.monster2026-03-07 20:40:00
Barney needs to take some fashion advice from his dad. Those white trainers he's wearing just look daft. #Gladiators
@cdarwin@c.im2026-01-27 17:18:06
My decision – Alex Vindman
Hi – my name is Alex Vindman, and I have made the decision to run for the United States Senate in Florida.
Over two decades ago, I swore an oath to protect this country when I joined the U.S. Army.
I honored that oath in 2019 by blowing the whistle on Donald Trump’s corrupt phone call with Ukraine -- an act that led to Trump’s first impeachment and cost me my military career.
People told me to keep my head down. But my family came here as …
@cellfourteen@social.petertoushkov.eu2025-12-19 23:22:51
Macaulay Culkin watching Home Alone with his 3 and 4 years old boys without telling them he is playing Kevin is the coolest dad joke 😁
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot2026-02-24 19:22:17
Well death certainly creates work for hands that weren't particularly idle in the first place. Blimey. I'm struck that while Dad has the time to see to the deathmin, when he goes it will all be down to me. You need bereavement leave just to handle everything, quite aside from needing time to regain your composure.
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-01-01 20:13:29
8yo: "If I don't like [what I ordered], I can just take my dad's!"
🙄
@timfoster@mastodon.social2026-01-18 19:50:17
I drove 256 miles in the Boxster today to collect the remainder of ski-trip luggage from Wicklow, and help Mum & Dad with their Australian tourist visa applications.
That trip, a mixture of motorway and B-roads really cemented it for me: that little blue thing is the best car I've ever owned (possibly ever driven?) If you have the chance, I heartily recommend obtaining one..
It's now also utterly filthy, but wearing the road-muck very well.
@BBC6MusicBot@mastodonapp.uk2026-01-26 16:26:23
🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on #BBC6Music's #SteveLamacq
Nobody's Dad:
🎵 You Don't Communicate
#NobodysDad
https://sketchbookrecords.bandcamp.com/track/you-dont-communicate
https://open.spotify.com/track/4Mxtvz0s5ODEu8NxVa3pp1
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot2026-02-20 13:09:12
Content warning: Bereavement
Ah you have to laugh where you can. My mum died in the night, not unexpected. Dad and I went to the funeral director early today. The funeral director had fabulous black boots on (which I pointed out to her in case she hadn't noticed 😄). She said they were from Next, I said they'd prob be too narrow for me, and the other woman there sympathised and said her feet were so wide she was better off with the box! I'm not sure this was the chat my father expected from the funeral direct…
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-02-25 01:05:49
13yo: "Hey dad? You had a mom, right?"
me: ...
me: "Yes, that's generally how people are born. why?"
13yo: "You know who *else* had a mom?"
[simultaneously]
me: "Hitler?"
13yo: "Your *mom*.. WHAT?"
13yo: "Hitler??"
me: "What? I thought that's where you were going with that! The 'you know who ELSE..' thing!"
@raiders@darktundra.xyz2026-02-18 08:42:15
Gary Kubiak Doesn’t Hold Back New Raiders HC Klint Kubiak https://heavy.com/sports/nfl/las-vegas-raiders/gary-kubiak-admission-about-klint-kubiak/
@andres4ny@social.ridetrans.it2026-01-22 23:39:32
8yo: "Hey dad?"
me: "what?"
8yo: "the biggest type of black hole is an ultra massive black hole, right?"
me: ...
me: "what?"
8yo: "the biggest type of.."
me: "no, I heard you. I don't know."
8yo: "How do you NOT KNOW??"
me: "I'm not an astronomer!"
8yo: "I'M A JUST CHILD AND I KNOW"
@losttourist@social.chatty.monster2025-12-24 18:55:19
I am from a big family and when we were young we always had family over on Christmas Day. This being the 1970s & 1980s, it meant my mum spent hours and hours and hours in the kitchen both on Christmas morning and most of Christmas Eve too.
So the one thing she wasn't going to do was cook an evening meal on Christmas Eve, instead we always used to get a chinese takeaway on December 24th. My dad used to save up several months worth of the Luncheon Vouchers he got from work and he'd get us a big blow-out feast from the local chinese takeaway.
I'll be spending only a sensible amount of time in the kitchen tomorrow but traditions are traditions, so I'm off down the chinese takeaway shortly. No Luncheon Vouchers, though!